Western women are obsessed with this question. But in many societies having children is part of the cultural rules. Your questions may have many answers depending on who reads your posting. If you struggle with the thought of being a mother, then you have the freedom to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. I think than with today's influences, not everyone should have children. There is no book out there that will make someone a "good parent" or a "good child" but they can help understand the many stages of a child's development to bring up emotionally stable children. In an era where "I" "SELF" guides behavior, I suggest to stay away from "YOU" or "THEY" (as in kid(s))if you cannot think on those terms. Bringing a human life into this world is a serious undertaken, one that comes with a commitment to love and nurture in addition to taking accountability and responsibility for the child's healthy development (physical, emotional and spiritual).
I appreciate your posting because at least you are honest admitting that you are not ready to produce a human being who will not be welcomed, nurtured and loved in this turbulent time.