I just feel disgusted with myself for being pregnant. I have never been a person who wanted my own children. I do like other people's kids enough, but it's nice that they are not mine. I am 29 and am 9 weeks prego. the thought of being pregnant sounded okay before it actually happened , and know that i am I want nothing more than to not be. I think that having children is an absolutely selfish thing to do. I don't understand what pocesses people to think they need to have kids. Perhaps its a fear of being alone, bordem, they feel they don't "grow up" until they have kids. I know it seems to be that way in my family, esspically my grandmother. Even though I am almost 30 she treats me as a juvinelle, mainly cause I haven't squeezed a person out my vagina.- go figure. So now what do I do? Have an abortion for something that I could have prevented? Does that make me a murder? I will tell you what, I wish my mother would have had an abortion with me , so I wouldn't have to endure the daily bullshit grind of the mundane lives we zombie thru. So quess , from my perspective, I'm would only be doing this kid a favor. --Or perhaps, i'm still a little bitter at the fact that if I do have this kid that i will be forgoing anything that i want to do for myself and becoming a homebound slave/waitress for 18 + years. I just don't feel that I have the energy, mind, or spirit to give to this person. I am utterly disgusted with myself. I think it might be better to live with regret, by having an abortion, than having a kid that i don't want. And no adoption is not an option I am willing to consider. I my case it is all or nothing.