Thank you for sharing your raw feelings with us, and I hope others reading your story can sympathize with you on some level---even if they are in a place of being ecstatic to be pregnant and are on the other end of the spectrum---these are still feelings that many of us have shared at some brief time in our life.
Many women, whether they planned the pregnancy or not, have moments were they feel exactly what you are feeling: disgusting, disgusted with themselves, disappointment, regret, fear for future, fear of loss of independence and "loss of their life as they know it".
Since this was an unplanned pregnancy, do you have family and friends who are supporting you? Have you talked with your medical doctor yet about your options?
Most importantly, have you spoken with a counselor about your feelings, as I am wondering if you are not experiencing depression. Your feelings toward an unwanted pregnancy are perfectly understandable (albeit difficult for other's to read, I'm sure), but what I'm concerned about are your other feelings---those that "I wish my mother would have had an abortion with me" and that you feel you are "enduring daily bullshit grind of a mundane live that we zombie through". Please know that many people have these cynical and negative feelings at some brief points in their life, but if you are truly feeling this way most days on an on-going basis, and truly believe that you wish you were never born...please call a good therapist immediately. These are not feelings that you should be having alone; they are feelings that need to be shared with a professional psychologist who can help you work through them. As I mentioned, I am reading your words and wondering if you are not experiencing depression, especially with the SURGE of hormones that are going through your body right now...your next 4 weeks are going to be even more riddled with hormone surges, stress, fatigue and other pregnancy symptoms.
Please let us know when you talk with a counselor and/or a medical doctor about your options, hopefully this happens TODAY. How can we help you?