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Hi,
Let's start again; I have some educational information regarding relationships that takes all of the "opinions" out of this, and will be more of a help to you (my assumption, gauging from your response above).

Here are some ways to know if you are in a healthy relationship, which is more to the core of your question.

"In a healthy relationship, you:
* Treat each other with respect
* Feel secure and comfortable
* Are not violent with each other
* Can resolve conflicts satisfactorily
* Enjoy the time you spend together
* Support one another
* Take interest in one another's lives: health, family, work, etc.
* Have privacy in the relationship
* Can trust each other
* Are each sexual by choice
* Communicate clearly and openly
* Have letters, phone calls, and e-mail that are your own
* Make healthy decisions about alcohol or other drugs
* Encourage other friendships
* Are honest about your past and present sexual activity if the relationship is intimate
* Know that most people in your life are happy about the relationship
* Have more good times in the relationship than bad

In an unhealthy relationship, one or both of you:
* Try to control, change or manipulate the other
* Make the other feel bad about her/himself
* Ridicule or call names
* Dictate how the other dresses
* Do not make time for each other
* Criticize the other's friends
* Are afraid of the other's temper
* Discourage the other from being close with anyone else
* Ignore each other when one is speaking
* Are overly possessive or get jealous about ordinary behavior
* Criticize or support others in criticizing people with your gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, disability, or other personal attribute
* Control the other's money or other resources (e.g., car)
* Harm or threaten to harm children, family, pets, or objects of personal value
* Push, grab, hit, punch, or throw objects
* Use physical force or threats to prevent the other from leaving"

"Perhaps the most important thing to do is to trust your instincts and the people close to you whose opinions you trust and value. Each and every one of us deserves to feel safe, valued, and cared for. Keep in mind that one of the strongest signs of a healthy relationship is that both people involved feel good about themselves. Also, by treating yourself with self-respect and believing in your right to be treated well, you are taking important steps towards developing equitable, mutually fulfilling ties in the future."

Which is another important question: your closest family and friends who you love and trust, and who know you the best and have your best interests at heart. What is their opinion on this matter?

So, this is the million-dollar question: after reading the criteria above, do you think your relationship meets the criteria for a healthy relationship? I am still concerned about anyone wanting to be in a relationship with someone who wants them to change, and emotionally blackmails them into changing because they "can't" be attracted to them. I truly believe this is a form of emotional mistreatment, so please be cautiously optimistic.

By the way, is your boyfriend ultra-fit, or does he have some weight to lose, too? Is he open to changing his appearance or working on a character flaw, or are you the only one with a flaw that needs changing? Maybe something to consider...how open is he to change, for the good of the relationship?

Sources:
- Go Ask Alice
- National Center on Domestic & Sexual Violence (previous article written, can read here