Anon, I'm so sorry about this. What a rough thing to be going through.
Take heart in Susan's words -- YES, all that stress, as well as your different eating and sleeping patterns, can definitely affect your hormones and your cycle. If I were you I'd take a home pregnancy test, like she suggests, just to find out for sure what's going on (or what's not going on).
Of course you're not coping well. That's perfectly understandable. You've been in an abusive relationship, you had hope for it, and then you had the nasty shock of finding him being unfaithful to you. All of those things add up and your emotions are probably all over the place -- shock, sadness, anger. Here's what's going on, Anon, you're grieving. You're grieving for the loss of the relationship and you're grieving for the things you've been through with him.
Can you tell us what kind of abuse happened while he was there? Was it physical abuse, sexual, emotional? How long did it go on? How long have you been dealing with abuse in your life?
The symptoms of not wanting to eat and of needing to sleep all the time are symptoms of depression, which seems perfectly natural with what you've been through. Tell me, have you ever seen a counselor about the abuse or about this relationship? Do you have someone you can talk to about all this who can be objective?
Honestly, while this may seem a little harsh in terms of where you are right now, if he abused you then I'm glad he's gone. You're worth more than that. He will, most likely, go back to those same patterns with the new woman after their "honeymoon period" wears off. That's what abusers do. They need to control the people they are with, and when they can't control them, they get angrier and angrier. Is that what you experienced?
Here's a website on recognizing abuse, and the effects of it:
Take care, Anon. Your head feels messed up because you're trying to sort all this out. Please realize that an abuser will say or do anything he needs to to control people. Yes, he can tell you he loves you one day and tell someone else that he loves her the next day. You know why? Because an abuser doesn't REALLY know how to love.
Your job right now is to shut them out and take care of yourself. Do you have a sister, a mom, a close friend you can go to for support? Would you like help finding a therapist who could help you sort things out? The most important thing for you is to realize that he may come back, in time, and you want to know how to deal with that situation if and when it occurs.
Take care, Anon. We are here for you at EmpowHer. Please write back.
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Anon, I'm so sorry about this. What a rough thing to be going through.
Take heart in Susan's words -- YES, all that stress, as well as your different eating and sleeping patterns, can definitely affect your hormones and your cycle. If I were you I'd take a home pregnancy test, like she suggests, just to find out for sure what's going on (or what's not going on).
Of course you're not coping well. That's perfectly understandable. You've been in an abusive relationship, you had hope for it, and then you had the nasty shock of finding him being unfaithful to you. All of those things add up and your emotions are probably all over the place -- shock, sadness, anger. Here's what's going on, Anon, you're grieving. You're grieving for the loss of the relationship and you're grieving for the things you've been through with him.
Can you tell us what kind of abuse happened while he was there? Was it physical abuse, sexual, emotional? How long did it go on? How long have you been dealing with abuse in your life?
The symptoms of not wanting to eat and of needing to sleep all the time are symptoms of depression, which seems perfectly natural with what you've been through. Tell me, have you ever seen a counselor about the abuse or about this relationship? Do you have someone you can talk to about all this who can be objective?
Honestly, while this may seem a little harsh in terms of where you are right now, if he abused you then I'm glad he's gone. You're worth more than that. He will, most likely, go back to those same patterns with the new woman after their "honeymoon period" wears off. That's what abusers do. They need to control the people they are with, and when they can't control them, they get angrier and angrier. Is that what you experienced?
Here's a website on recognizing abuse, and the effects of it:
http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/center_index.php?id=2
Take care, Anon. Your head feels messed up because you're trying to sort all this out. Please realize that an abuser will say or do anything he needs to to control people. Yes, he can tell you he loves you one day and tell someone else that he loves her the next day. You know why? Because an abuser doesn't REALLY know how to love.
Your job right now is to shut them out and take care of yourself. Do you have a sister, a mom, a close friend you can go to for support? Would you like help finding a therapist who could help you sort things out? The most important thing for you is to realize that he may come back, in time, and you want to know how to deal with that situation if and when it occurs.
Take care, Anon. We are here for you at EmpowHer. Please write back.
June 25, 2009 - 8:04amThis Comment
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