I have to agree with everything Rosa said but also add this: If kissing is important to you and it isn't important to him, that might be a conflict that stays with you as long as you are together. Even if you do find ways to communicate well and to tell each other what you like and need, I think that the need for kissing (and, for some, cuddling) is truly important to some women.
Of my friends, two of them feel like you do -- in a big way. I'm not sure they would be able to find a happy medium in this area. Some women find that they just don't want to stay in a relationship without passionate kissing. Since you were in a relationship with someone for 10 years and you hadn't gotten tired of kissing yet, somehow I don't think the desire is going to go away for you.
What am I saying? To work on this, to enjoy lovemaking, to talk a lot with your partner, and to get him to commit to working on the kissing. And if it's not going to happen, to consider whether the relationship can work for you without it. Some people would think it's a small thing, but since you are losing your entire motivation for sex, I don't think it is.
And just for fun, you might like reading this. It's a Scientific American story on Why We Kiss. Fascinating!
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Anon, thank you so much for your question!
I have to agree with everything Rosa said but also add this: If kissing is important to you and it isn't important to him, that might be a conflict that stays with you as long as you are together. Even if you do find ways to communicate well and to tell each other what you like and need, I think that the need for kissing (and, for some, cuddling) is truly important to some women.
Of my friends, two of them feel like you do -- in a big way. I'm not sure they would be able to find a happy medium in this area. Some women find that they just don't want to stay in a relationship without passionate kissing. Since you were in a relationship with someone for 10 years and you hadn't gotten tired of kissing yet, somehow I don't think the desire is going to go away for you.
What am I saying? To work on this, to enjoy lovemaking, to talk a lot with your partner, and to get him to commit to working on the kissing. And if it's not going to happen, to consider whether the relationship can work for you without it. Some people would think it's a small thing, but since you are losing your entire motivation for sex, I don't think it is.
And just for fun, you might like reading this. It's a Scientific American story on Why We Kiss. Fascinating!
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=affairs-of-the-lips-why-we-kiss
June 30, 2009 - 9:11amThis Comment
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