Worried? Maybe a little... but let me explain why.
First, Hooter's to the mature woman (and you are sure entering into that territory) is a joke. It's harmless really, unless you have a guy you can't trust, in which case the grocery store or Blockbuster's... or anywhere is a danger! :)
I think you have cause to be worried about his 'need' to sneak around... to go. It is sneaking... no matter what you might tell yourself, because I think in a committed relationship, you do have an obligation to respect the other person's feelings. So I would suggest, that if you choose to talk with him about it... you might say something of this nature, "while I can only ASSUME that while you were there you didn't do anything to cause me to doubt your commitment to me, your need to "withhold" the information, as far as I am concerned, is sneaking around to go. The reason this bothers me is because if you will 'sneak' around to do that... you will sneak around to do anything else. Which would cause me to think that you are dishonest and untrustworthy". You also might ask him how he'd take it if you did something of that nature and "withheld" the information?? Since he is in trouble... he will play it off and make it innocent and a simple oversight that he didn't tell you. Make sure to set him straight that you are not an idiot and don't appreciate him thinking that you would buy that for a minute.
You teach people how to treat you!! So make it clear that withholding information is the same thing as lying... and that is NOT ACCEPTABLE!
Men are visual by nature!! His noticing beauty isn't wrong, so long as he doesn't disrespect you by GAWKING or flirting or anything outside of that. I had to teach that to my husband too... I even told him that he is welcome to tell me if he thinks someone is pretty, I like to have that kind of open door policy (although he never does that). He used to be really bad about noticing an attractive girl and staring. It totally offended me... I knew how he felt about me and that he loved me!! Never doubted his attraction to me at all! However, he didn't know how to notice and glance and look away... I made it clear to him that I notice attractive men (I'm in a relationship... I'm not dead!). But that he never saw me NOTICING one... which he agreed he hadn't. I said to him, that is because I know how to notice without disrespecting you!! I love him and don't want anyone else and that I'd never want him to doubt that!
I always like to give a man or guy just enough rope to hang themselves (I was married once in my early 20's for about 6 years and single for 9 before remarrying so I had some practice). I figure, as much as it might eat me up to think of him in such a place (in your case a Hooter's), if he's going to be unfaithful... he's going to do it one way or another. I find that giving them that rope turns out one of two ways...they prove their trustworthiness and respect you for being a "cool" girlfriend, or they prove that they are a waste of your time and you can thank them for not wasting any more of your time!!!
I don't know if you ever go with him to Hooter's but tell him to take you with him some time. Every man on the continent will tell you that they go for the beer and the wings. The wings aren't good at all (Buffalo Wild Wings are much better) and the beer tastes the same as anywhere else... (for the drinking age people! :) But tell him you heard the wings were good, so you'd like to give them a shot. Then maybe he can go and not have to hide it.
Lastly, I have found that the most important thing a woman can possess, as far as attractiveness... is CONFIDENCE! So remember, the women in their are nothing to worry about. If that is all they have to earn a paycheck, well all power to them. I consider myself to be beautiful and sexy as well, but I have the ability and intelligence to work in a professional field with a professional's pay. So luckily, I never had to work at Hooter's. Not even at that age!! You don't either and you can feel confident with the fact that you are anything they are but more! Ok??
Comment Reply
Worried? Maybe a little... but let me explain why.
First, Hooter's to the mature woman (and you are sure entering into that territory) is a joke. It's harmless really, unless you have a guy you can't trust, in which case the grocery store or Blockbuster's... or anywhere is a danger! :)
I think you have cause to be worried about his 'need' to sneak around... to go. It is sneaking... no matter what you might tell yourself, because I think in a committed relationship, you do have an obligation to respect the other person's feelings. So I would suggest, that if you choose to talk with him about it... you might say something of this nature, "while I can only ASSUME that while you were there you didn't do anything to cause me to doubt your commitment to me, your need to "withhold" the information, as far as I am concerned, is sneaking around to go. The reason this bothers me is because if you will 'sneak' around to do that... you will sneak around to do anything else. Which would cause me to think that you are dishonest and untrustworthy". You also might ask him how he'd take it if you did something of that nature and "withheld" the information?? Since he is in trouble... he will play it off and make it innocent and a simple oversight that he didn't tell you. Make sure to set him straight that you are not an idiot and don't appreciate him thinking that you would buy that for a minute.
You teach people how to treat you!! So make it clear that withholding information is the same thing as lying... and that is NOT ACCEPTABLE!
Men are visual by nature!! His noticing beauty isn't wrong, so long as he doesn't disrespect you by GAWKING or flirting or anything outside of that. I had to teach that to my husband too... I even told him that he is welcome to tell me if he thinks someone is pretty, I like to have that kind of open door policy (although he never does that). He used to be really bad about noticing an attractive girl and staring. It totally offended me... I knew how he felt about me and that he loved me!! Never doubted his attraction to me at all! However, he didn't know how to notice and glance and look away... I made it clear to him that I notice attractive men (I'm in a relationship... I'm not dead!). But that he never saw me NOTICING one... which he agreed he hadn't. I said to him, that is because I know how to notice without disrespecting you!! I love him and don't want anyone else and that I'd never want him to doubt that!
I always like to give a man or guy just enough rope to hang themselves (I was married once in my early 20's for about 6 years and single for 9 before remarrying so I had some practice). I figure, as much as it might eat me up to think of him in such a place (in your case a Hooter's), if he's going to be unfaithful... he's going to do it one way or another. I find that giving them that rope turns out one of two ways...they prove their trustworthiness and respect you for being a "cool" girlfriend, or they prove that they are a waste of your time and you can thank them for not wasting any more of your time!!!
I don't know if you ever go with him to Hooter's but tell him to take you with him some time. Every man on the continent will tell you that they go for the beer and the wings. The wings aren't good at all (Buffalo Wild Wings are much better) and the beer tastes the same as anywhere else... (for the drinking age people! :) But tell him you heard the wings were good, so you'd like to give them a shot. Then maybe he can go and not have to hide it.
Lastly, I have found that the most important thing a woman can possess, as far as attractiveness... is CONFIDENCE! So remember, the women in their are nothing to worry about. If that is all they have to earn a paycheck, well all power to them. I consider myself to be beautiful and sexy as well, but I have the ability and intelligence to work in a professional field with a professional's pay. So luckily, I never had to work at Hooter's. Not even at that age!! You don't either and you can feel confident with the fact that you are anything they are but more! Ok??
July 20, 2009 - 1:30pmThis Comment
Reply