Really good article Alison! I think the generalizations are absolutely necessary, all women are not the same and what works with one woman may not work for another. I have watched many women, my sisters, girlfriends, friends and wife go through this experience. They want to maintain or create a state of arousal that is reached prior to being with a partner, but the actual act of being with the partner is the only thing they have found that arouses them to this level.
After the sexual interaction has taken place, they are now aroused to a level that they want more. Unfortunately, the partner is usually satisfied at this point and the woman carries on unsatisfied from the whole thing. A very frustrating state to be in for anyone.
The whole mindset that creates this exchange stems from the social stereotypes that women cannot "want" too much sex. Those that do publicly seek satisfying sexual encounters are looked upon as less than those who suffer with their inability to find an answer to their desires.
This is just wrong and an antiquated way of thinking, women can have satisfying sexual exchanges in monogamous relationships. It is a matter of getting past the mentality that has been propagated through decades of sexual repression in Western society. We have created this derogatory perception associated with women that are single and desire this satisfaction or attached women that go outside of the relationship in search of it after suffering for years with the results of the antiquated mindset.
Adultery is a huge issue in our society, but what are these people looking for? Something different, exciting and satisfying! Wouldn't it make sense then to provide tools and information for these men and women and let them know it is OK for them to feel this way and show them ways to create within themselves mentally and/or physically a state of arousal prior to a sexual encounter that can make it more satisfying and thus more enjoyable for both people?
I think so, all of these studies and articles are wonderful to bring the subject to light. What is needed are answers and personally my wife and I have found an answer, but I don't know if it is appropriate to discuss it in open posts.
Let me know what you think, I really appreciate your viewpoints and insight.
Comment Reply
Really good article Alison! I think the generalizations are absolutely necessary, all women are not the same and what works with one woman may not work for another. I have watched many women, my sisters, girlfriends, friends and wife go through this experience. They want to maintain or create a state of arousal that is reached prior to being with a partner, but the actual act of being with the partner is the only thing they have found that arouses them to this level.
After the sexual interaction has taken place, they are now aroused to a level that they want more. Unfortunately, the partner is usually satisfied at this point and the woman carries on unsatisfied from the whole thing. A very frustrating state to be in for anyone.
The whole mindset that creates this exchange stems from the social stereotypes that women cannot "want" too much sex. Those that do publicly seek satisfying sexual encounters are looked upon as less than those who suffer with their inability to find an answer to their desires.
This is just wrong and an antiquated way of thinking, women can have satisfying sexual exchanges in monogamous relationships. It is a matter of getting past the mentality that has been propagated through decades of sexual repression in Western society. We have created this derogatory perception associated with women that are single and desire this satisfaction or attached women that go outside of the relationship in search of it after suffering for years with the results of the antiquated mindset.
Adultery is a huge issue in our society, but what are these people looking for? Something different, exciting and satisfying! Wouldn't it make sense then to provide tools and information for these men and women and let them know it is OK for them to feel this way and show them ways to create within themselves mentally and/or physically a state of arousal prior to a sexual encounter that can make it more satisfying and thus more enjoyable for both people?
I think so, all of these studies and articles are wonderful to bring the subject to light. What is needed are answers and personally my wife and I have found an answer, but I don't know if it is appropriate to discuss it in open posts.
Let me know what you think, I really appreciate your viewpoints and insight.
July 21, 2009 - 9:52amThis Comment
Reply