I was in a similar situation right up until yesterday. Me and my boyfriend of 8 months have always had slightly awkward sex. He will kiss for ages, but has no interest in foreplay. I could stand naked in front of him and he wouldn't bat an eyelid, he never touched my breasts much and didn't seem to care about anything other than getting his penis in me. It hurt my feelings quite a lot, and made me feel like he wasn't attracted to me. What was worse; he would try and have normal conversations during sex, he wouldn't turn down the TV and wouldn't even put his dog out the room - it was VERY awkward for me. He came every time from having sex, but never seemed to care about getting me off. He called me bossy if I ever asked him to do anything. One night I asked him what was wrong and he didn't seem to even know what I was talking about, he said sex with me was great and he saw no problem with it. In the end, I broke up with him, because I know how good sex can be if it's with someone who IS obviously attracted to you and makes the effort to show you this through actions when you get intimate. I decided I didn't want to give up good sex forever, despite how much I liked my boyfriend.
My advice to you is that you need to make a choice. It may not be that he's not attracted to you, it may be because he's inexperienced or even selfish in bed. The nicest people in the world can be extremely selfish in bed. Whatever the case, if it hasn't improved after 10 months it isn't going to now. You need to make a choice; a lifetime with someone YOU love, but who makes you feel unattractive and won't satisfy you sexually, or leave him and take the chance to find someone who will make the effort for you.
Either way, you'd better do it soon. Life is short and the sooner you make the decision the sooner you can learn to live with your choice and accept a none-psychical relationship, or move forwards and make a new connection.
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I was in a similar situation right up until yesterday. Me and my boyfriend of 8 months have always had slightly awkward sex. He will kiss for ages, but has no interest in foreplay. I could stand naked in front of him and he wouldn't bat an eyelid, he never touched my breasts much and didn't seem to care about anything other than getting his penis in me. It hurt my feelings quite a lot, and made me feel like he wasn't attracted to me. What was worse; he would try and have normal conversations during sex, he wouldn't turn down the TV and wouldn't even put his dog out the room - it was VERY awkward for me. He came every time from having sex, but never seemed to care about getting me off. He called me bossy if I ever asked him to do anything. One night I asked him what was wrong and he didn't seem to even know what I was talking about, he said sex with me was great and he saw no problem with it. In the end, I broke up with him, because I know how good sex can be if it's with someone who IS obviously attracted to you and makes the effort to show you this through actions when you get intimate. I decided I didn't want to give up good sex forever, despite how much I liked my boyfriend.
My advice to you is that you need to make a choice. It may not be that he's not attracted to you, it may be because he's inexperienced or even selfish in bed. The nicest people in the world can be extremely selfish in bed. Whatever the case, if it hasn't improved after 10 months it isn't going to now. You need to make a choice; a lifetime with someone YOU love, but who makes you feel unattractive and won't satisfy you sexually, or leave him and take the chance to find someone who will make the effort for you.
Either way, you'd better do it soon. Life is short and the sooner you make the decision the sooner you can learn to live with your choice and accept a none-psychical relationship, or move forwards and make a new connection.
December 6, 2015 - 5:51pmThis Comment
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