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I know you love him and he loves you and you have history and happiness together but it might be time to take a break. You deserve to feel loved and wanted and beautiful. It's fine if people have their preferences (whether strictly in porn or real life), because it doesn't mean he doesn't love you, but I'd say the least he could do is own up to that and start taking more efforts to treat you as lovingly as he does with the ladies on screen.