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EmpowHER Guest

I have been on both sides of this problem with my ex and current boyfriend. My ex and I were together for almost 10 years. We had a lot of issues early on that cut off my attraction to him (I.e. secretly texting his ex about seeing her when he returned to his home state, messaging girls off the casual encounters on CRAIGSLIST, having pictures of his ex still on his computer) all of those things broke my trust in him and therefore, I felt gross when he would try to touch me. I felt cheap. I would always make excuses to not have sex with him. Despite all my attempts at breaking up with him and withdrawing sex, he refused to leave! I began to hate him. Even though I wasn't sexually attracted, I still thought he was attractive. Eventually it took me moving out for him to finally want to break up. Had my ex never done things to break my trust in him, we probably would have had sex every morning. With my current boyfriend, we had sex all the time. 2-3 times a night. But 2 years in and our anniversary fell between a 2 month dry spell. I know he masturbates but when we do have sex, he can't stay hard. He says he starts thinking too much but it hurts to think he's thinking about how unattractive he finds me and it kills it for him. I tell him that I am his and he can have me any time any where, whatever he wants to do to me. I guess not being intimate is what he wants. The fact that I have to bring it up is embarrassing. Its like begging my lover to want me. But what my ex and current have in common is they would never say I was beautiful or attractive. I know I'm not and not expecting the "you're so hot or most beautiful" but at least tell me I'm pretty to you, at least make me feel attractive. I always tell my current that he's handsome or looking cute today but he never says anything about me, even if I feel super pretty and took time to look nice, he never says anything. Hes a good man and hasn't done anything to betray my trust in him but I feel like he's only with me for the sake of not being alone :(

September 2, 2017 - 6:37am


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