Things may change when he starts working. I am sorry that you feel so bad. I know what it's like to feel rejected sexually. But just know that you ARE desirable and beautiful and it is HE who is going through something.
I think that you both need to figure this all out before marriage or anything that serious as it won't fix itself automatically. Having a child won't fix things either.
I would try and talk to him about how you feel. Explain that you love him but you need to understand why he rejects you sexually so often and that it makes you feel bad. Then maybe try and come up with a solution, like therapy. The more stressed he becomes, the more difficult it is for him to get aroused. it's like a vicious circle. I am sure that you are not putting pressure on him but maybe for a week or two, try not to think about sex and let him make any move so he doeasn't feel pressure. I tried this with my boyfriend when he was having troubles. Go to bed and read or something where he feels less pressure so more likely to take a chance on having sex. Try reading those books too. I have a sneaking suspicion that when he starts working things will improve, but if not, then maybe try to talk to him about seeing someone. Good luck.
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Things may change when he starts working. I am sorry that you feel so bad. I know what it's like to feel rejected sexually. But just know that you ARE desirable and beautiful and it is HE who is going through something.
July 23, 2009 - 10:24amI think that you both need to figure this all out before marriage or anything that serious as it won't fix itself automatically. Having a child won't fix things either.
I would try and talk to him about how you feel. Explain that you love him but you need to understand why he rejects you sexually so often and that it makes you feel bad. Then maybe try and come up with a solution, like therapy. The more stressed he becomes, the more difficult it is for him to get aroused. it's like a vicious circle. I am sure that you are not putting pressure on him but maybe for a week or two, try not to think about sex and let him make any move so he doeasn't feel pressure. I tried this with my boyfriend when he was having troubles. Go to bed and read or something where he feels less pressure so more likely to take a chance on having sex. Try reading those books too. I have a sneaking suspicion that when he starts working things will improve, but if not, then maybe try to talk to him about seeing someone. Good luck.
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