I am so glad to have found this site. I am in a new relationship of nine months with my boyfriend who used to be a total playa and was not above using sex to get women to pay for things for him. We started having sexual problems right in the beginning of our relationship. At first I overlooked his rejecting my sexual advances and the fact that his penis wouldn't get hard or would go limp during sex because of the fact that he has Crohn's disease. I did grumble a lot about the lack of sex and he did try his best to satisfy me in bed when he could get it up for me. However, he never initiated sex and had countless excuses for why he didn't want to f**k me. I spent many a nights crying myself to sleep after masturbating to porn. It was frustrating. We had a lot of fights over the issue because it began to make me feel insecure and think that he might have been cheating on me with one of his ex's who constantly texted and phoned him for sex. I felt unattractive and undesired by him and mentioned it to him. He blamed his Crohn's disease, the fact that he was embarrassed that his parents lived right below his room in the basement and could hear us having sex, and that he had lost his libido a while back after having been caught by two of his female friends (one of whom is the ex girlfriend still begging him for sex) and having realized how he had hurt them. Here's the kicker! I went through his iPod one night and accidentally stumbled upon porn videos he had watched. It shocked me that my boyfriend was wanking off to porn while he claimed he had no sexual desire left anymore. It hurt that he would rather watch porn to pleasure himself rather than to have sex with me when I was perfectly willing and actually dying to have sex with him. I brought it up to him and he made excuses that he had only watched porn on days when I was having my periods. He assured me that I was attractive to him or he wouldn't have gotten into a relationship with me. However, it was little consolation to know that my boyfriend knowingly ignored my sexual needs. He did start getting better at having sex with me once he went on steroids for his Crohn's and it has gotten waaay better since both of us have moved out of his parent's home. He did admit to me, however, that in past he used to images of boobs, ass, and pussy while having sex with his girlfriends and other women. He claimed that his last girlfriend and I were the only two women he did not feel the need to visualize female body parts with. Then again, he also told me that he no longer needed to watch porn because he realized that I was giving him oral sex on the days I was on my periods anyways. He didn't realize that I had seen porn videos on his iPod which he thought he had deleted a few days before and had said nothing about at that time. When I did tell him what I had seen on his iPod he got offensive and had the nerve to replay back with, "So What?" Even today he continues to watch porn whenever I am not around him. He has gotten smart about deleting history on my laptop which he uses and has even gotten super smart about deleting the history on his iPod recently after having been caught so many times by me however he doesn't realize I still find out when he watches porn because I am smart with computers and have my own ways. Honestly, I do not have an issue with porn per se. My problem is when my boyfriend uses porn to replace me. It is offensive, hurtful, and just plain cruel of him to neglect my sexual needs by expending his sexual energy on releasing his load to images of fantasy women on camera. I have suggested to him that we watch porn together to spice up our sex life but he is embarrassed by it and has not acted on that request. He has though started initiating sex more recently and he does not reject my sexual advances as much as he used to in the past after we had countless arguments over the issue where I shared my feelings with him about our sex life or lack thereof. No he is not a selfish lover in bed. He does go down on me and he makes sure that I orgasm each time we make love. Problem is that I feel our sex life suffers each time he watches porn because recently he has again started to lose his erections and this coincides with him watching porn more frequently again. As for those smart alecky people who might comment once I submit this comment: #1) No he is not cheating on me. I'm sure of this because we are together 90% of the time and because I'm very good at snooping on him and he has checked out perfectly so far. #2) Yes, it could be that our relationship is problematic and filled with frequent arguments. Well, we wouldn't have so many arguments if my boyfriend made me feel secure in our relationship by making me feel desired and wanted. #3) No, I am not ugly. Yes, I am overweight but he knew that before he made me his girlfriend. He himself has been noticing that I've only been getting skinnier we started dating. I'm very attractive overall and have no problems attracting other handsome men. In fact, all of my past lovers would love to get with me again if I gave them a chance. Plus, my boyfriend has dated girls way bigger than me in the past and a lot of the porn I catch on the iPod involves Latina and BBW's. And another thing: At least five of his friends have directly and indirectly expressed their interest in getting with me or have given me appreciative glances. #4) No, I am not sexually boring and thereby driving my poor unsatisfied boyfriend to the world of porn, LOL! I'm a very sexually charged, creative, and willing to experiment woman. I love giving him blow-jobs and I'm even willing to experiment with anal sex. I don't mind having sex in public places and I love talking dirty in bed if he'd only let me. He gets embarrassed and shh's me even when I moan because he doesn't want our roommates to hear us. He did not even f**k me when I had given him head during one of our daytime drives in scenic mountains. It was his first time getting head while driving and he was clearly enjoying it, yet at the same time he was very conscious of what was going on and was embarrassed and worried that someone would realize what was going on in the car. So much for a boring girlfriend, huh? The saddest part of it is that despite all of this I love him and I'm totally faithful to him. I did have many opportunities to have sex with other guys, but each time I kept seeing images of him on top of me in bed making love to me. To his credit he is physically and emotionally very affectionate towards me. He loves holding my hands and playfully touching me in public and he gives the best cuddles in the world. Only if he'd stop watching porn and take time to see the sexy in me :-(! I want to be his fantasy woman, I want to be his one and only sexy gal. I want to scream at him, "Baby just look at me, I'm wet and wild and ready to be had!" It's so sad that he doesn't appreciate what he has. So many men complain about their women not giving them enough sex and here I am a girlfriend of a man who doesn't appreciate and know how to use what he has been blessed with. Sigh!
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I am so glad to have found this site. I am in a new relationship of nine months with my boyfriend who used to be a total playa and was not above using sex to get women to pay for things for him. We started having sexual problems right in the beginning of our relationship. At first I overlooked his rejecting my sexual advances and the fact that his penis wouldn't get hard or would go limp during sex because of the fact that he has Crohn's disease. I did grumble a lot about the lack of sex and he did try his best to satisfy me in bed when he could get it up for me. However, he never initiated sex and had countless excuses for why he didn't want to f**k me. I spent many a nights crying myself to sleep after masturbating to porn. It was frustrating. We had a lot of fights over the issue because it began to make me feel insecure and think that he might have been cheating on me with one of his ex's who constantly texted and phoned him for sex. I felt unattractive and undesired by him and mentioned it to him. He blamed his Crohn's disease, the fact that he was embarrassed that his parents lived right below his room in the basement and could hear us having sex, and that he had lost his libido a while back after having been caught by two of his female friends (one of whom is the ex girlfriend still begging him for sex) and having realized how he had hurt them. Here's the kicker! I went through his iPod one night and accidentally stumbled upon porn videos he had watched. It shocked me that my boyfriend was wanking off to porn while he claimed he had no sexual desire left anymore. It hurt that he would rather watch porn to pleasure himself rather than to have sex with me when I was perfectly willing and actually dying to have sex with him. I brought it up to him and he made excuses that he had only watched porn on days when I was having my periods. He assured me that I was attractive to him or he wouldn't have gotten into a relationship with me. However, it was little consolation to know that my boyfriend knowingly ignored my sexual needs. He did start getting better at having sex with me once he went on steroids for his Crohn's and it has gotten waaay better since both of us have moved out of his parent's home. He did admit to me, however, that in past he used to images of boobs, ass, and pussy while having sex with his girlfriends and other women. He claimed that his last girlfriend and I were the only two women he did not feel the need to visualize female body parts with. Then again, he also told me that he no longer needed to watch porn because he realized that I was giving him oral sex on the days I was on my periods anyways. He didn't realize that I had seen porn videos on his iPod which he thought he had deleted a few days before and had said nothing about at that time. When I did tell him what I had seen on his iPod he got offensive and had the nerve to replay back with, "So What?" Even today he continues to watch porn whenever I am not around him. He has gotten smart about deleting history on my laptop which he uses and has even gotten super smart about deleting the history on his iPod recently after having been caught so many times by me however he doesn't realize I still find out when he watches porn because I am smart with computers and have my own ways. Honestly, I do not have an issue with porn per se. My problem is when my boyfriend uses porn to replace me. It is offensive, hurtful, and just plain cruel of him to neglect my sexual needs by expending his sexual energy on releasing his load to images of fantasy women on camera. I have suggested to him that we watch porn together to spice up our sex life but he is embarrassed by it and has not acted on that request. He has though started initiating sex more recently and he does not reject my sexual advances as much as he used to in the past after we had countless arguments over the issue where I shared my feelings with him about our sex life or lack thereof. No he is not a selfish lover in bed. He does go down on me and he makes sure that I orgasm each time we make love. Problem is that I feel our sex life suffers each time he watches porn because recently he has again started to lose his erections and this coincides with him watching porn more frequently again. As for those smart alecky people who might comment once I submit this comment: #1) No he is not cheating on me. I'm sure of this because we are together 90% of the time and because I'm very good at snooping on him and he has checked out perfectly so far. #2) Yes, it could be that our relationship is problematic and filled with frequent arguments. Well, we wouldn't have so many arguments if my boyfriend made me feel secure in our relationship by making me feel desired and wanted. #3) No, I am not ugly. Yes, I am overweight but he knew that before he made me his girlfriend. He himself has been noticing that I've only been getting skinnier we started dating. I'm very attractive overall and have no problems attracting other handsome men. In fact, all of my past lovers would love to get with me again if I gave them a chance. Plus, my boyfriend has dated girls way bigger than me in the past and a lot of the porn I catch on the iPod involves Latina and BBW's. And another thing: At least five of his friends have directly and indirectly expressed their interest in getting with me or have given me appreciative glances. #4) No, I am not sexually boring and thereby driving my poor unsatisfied boyfriend to the world of porn, LOL! I'm a very sexually charged, creative, and willing to experiment woman. I love giving him blow-jobs and I'm even willing to experiment with anal sex. I don't mind having sex in public places and I love talking dirty in bed if he'd only let me. He gets embarrassed and shh's me even when I moan because he doesn't want our roommates to hear us. He did not even f**k me when I had given him head during one of our daytime drives in scenic mountains. It was his first time getting head while driving and he was clearly enjoying it, yet at the same time he was very conscious of what was going on and was embarrassed and worried that someone would realize what was going on in the car. So much for a boring girlfriend, huh? The saddest part of it is that despite all of this I love him and I'm totally faithful to him. I did have many opportunities to have sex with other guys, but each time I kept seeing images of him on top of me in bed making love to me. To his credit he is physically and emotionally very affectionate towards me. He loves holding my hands and playfully touching me in public and he gives the best cuddles in the world. Only if he'd stop watching porn and take time to see the sexy in me :-(! I want to be his fantasy woman, I want to be his one and only sexy gal. I want to scream at him, "Baby just look at me, I'm wet and wild and ready to be had!" It's so sad that he doesn't appreciate what he has. So many men complain about their women not giving them enough sex and here I am a girlfriend of a man who doesn't appreciate and know how to use what he has been blessed with. Sigh!
February 4, 2012 - 5:54pmThis Comment
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