an earlier poster said "It's always better to communicate than to resort to pornography which may make her feel ugly, rejected and cheated on"
Bear with me here, but I have to say this is just a bunch of nonsense. Pornography does not MAKE anyone feel anything. Women may feel negative emotions in response to it, however, those feelings are generated from her beliefs and her own choices. I dont know how women get it into their heads that if a man looks at porn he is rejecting them. This is not true. Men are BUILT, literally hard wired, to appreciate diversity. My liking an apple does not lessen my delight at the prospect of eating an orange later. Ask women who work in the porn industry if they feel like they are being degraded. Most porn stars who have been in the business do it because well ok the money is great, but also because they have a sense of giving a gift and of serving the wider community in a way that they enjoy. I happen to think that porn is a beautiful thing, I get to witness women who are open and feely giving their feminine gift. Often when i am watching porn that I enjoy the thing that is going through my head is "good girl". Women who think porn is purely distructive are completely missing the point. They seem to believe that men are viewing porn and thinking "yeah I would use that humping post and throw it away later", or something worse (and please feel free to enlighten me). Look porn is like anything else it can be misused. I think that because porn is about sex and sex is tied to our sexual identity (which is one of the deepest levels of identity) when it is mis used it can be especially devastating. I do not, however, think that this makes porn evil.
Yes men can spend hours on end looking at porn. Yes men CAN be addicted to porn. That does not mean that every man who looks at porn who happens to have an unsatisfied girlfriend or wife is an addict. I think women are mostly using porn as a scapegoat for an otherwise complex situation. Look at toms example, he turned to porn for relief from feeling rejected himself. I have experienced exactly the same sort of thing tom is talking about. I personally find that I CANNOT enjoy sex when the woman I am with wont allow me to please her.
I guess what I'm getting at here is that it offends me when people say that porn is the problem. It really is not 99 times out of 100. Even in the case of porn addiction, the addiction starts typically because the person is frustrated with trying to find a receptive and appreciative sex partner. The addict may have those things offered to them later and not care so much, but if those things had been present before their addiction they would never have gone looking for a substitute.
Comment Reply
an earlier poster said "It's always better to communicate than to resort to pornography which may make her feel ugly, rejected and cheated on"
Bear with me here, but I have to say this is just a bunch of nonsense. Pornography does not MAKE anyone feel anything. Women may feel negative emotions in response to it, however, those feelings are generated from her beliefs and her own choices. I dont know how women get it into their heads that if a man looks at porn he is rejecting them. This is not true. Men are BUILT, literally hard wired, to appreciate diversity. My liking an apple does not lessen my delight at the prospect of eating an orange later. Ask women who work in the porn industry if they feel like they are being degraded. Most porn stars who have been in the business do it because well ok the money is great, but also because they have a sense of giving a gift and of serving the wider community in a way that they enjoy. I happen to think that porn is a beautiful thing, I get to witness women who are open and feely giving their feminine gift. Often when i am watching porn that I enjoy the thing that is going through my head is "good girl". Women who think porn is purely distructive are completely missing the point. They seem to believe that men are viewing porn and thinking "yeah I would use that humping post and throw it away later", or something worse (and please feel free to enlighten me). Look porn is like anything else it can be misused. I think that because porn is about sex and sex is tied to our sexual identity (which is one of the deepest levels of identity) when it is mis used it can be especially devastating. I do not, however, think that this makes porn evil.
Yes men can spend hours on end looking at porn. Yes men CAN be addicted to porn. That does not mean that every man who looks at porn who happens to have an unsatisfied girlfriend or wife is an addict. I think women are mostly using porn as a scapegoat for an otherwise complex situation. Look at toms example, he turned to porn for relief from feeling rejected himself. I have experienced exactly the same sort of thing tom is talking about. I personally find that I CANNOT enjoy sex when the woman I am with wont allow me to please her.
I guess what I'm getting at here is that it offends me when people say that porn is the problem. It really is not 99 times out of 100. Even in the case of porn addiction, the addiction starts typically because the person is frustrated with trying to find a receptive and appreciative sex partner. The addict may have those things offered to them later and not care so much, but if those things had been present before their addiction they would never have gone looking for a substitute.
February 17, 2010 - 12:26pmThis Comment
Reply