Summers_isle,
If a man ONLY looks at porn and masturbates to it every day and is refusing sex with his wife or girlfriend, who is hot and wanting sex, then porn is definitely a problem.
If a man would rather look at simulations of sex and gets less and less interested in having relations of sex, then porn is a problem. He is becoming a voyeur and NOT a participant.
I have to say to the older married ladies out there, that unless if you are 20 and 30 something and newly married or dating, then you probably don't know what I mean.
I have a friend who just got married a year ago and her marriage never even got consummated as her new husband is so addicted to porn that he can't get aroused by his new wife. They are divorcing already. I had a friend whose boyfriend couldn't have sex with her unless he furiously masturbated as he was so addicted to jerking off to porn.
I had a boyfriend myself who loved me a lot but couldn't have sex with me because he needed more extreme sex than one girl in a bed.
I have another friend who, after only three years with her fiancee, is having bedroom trouble as they are BOTH so into porn that they can't have sex without it!
I don't care what anyone says but mark my words, in a few years we will ALL be seeing the negative effects of internet porn in our society. KIds growing up now, folks in their twenties and thirties and even early forties are growing up with and are living in a time where porn has become very socially acceptable and is making it difficult to maintain realtionships.
No, No ALL men who look at porn are addicted, but it is increasingly prevalent. And MOST men who look at porn begin to subtly objectify women in their lives; oogling more, becoming more voyeuristic.
Mankind used to be more about touch, feel, flesh. Now we are more about watching, looking, staring. hence the increasing popularity of the super fit body, the fake boobs and the revulsion towards Reubenesque flesh.
I have read articles in the Times and even Vanity fair within the last few years, about how porn is affecting men today and is the crack cocaine of the internet, as there is no end to it. One can look and look forever and not get to the back page, as it were. How addictive is that!? I have spoken to addicts and they say that what keeps them looking for hour upon hour is the fact that they feel that this perfect image exists somewhere but does it really?
I feel that focusing desire upon one another in a relationship makes for a happier and better tiem in bed. Rabbi Rabbi Boteach emphases porn's destructive effect on relationships. "Pornography breeds insatiability" and "is about fundamental boredom," he said. It creates unrealistic expectations of what women really are, and that gets marriages into trouble. This, to me, is so true.
I suppose that the real question to women is "How is your sex life". If it is bad or non existant and your man is looking at porn more that being with you then you have a problem and the porn is probably the cause. Ask men if they have a good sex life(not alone but with their girlfriend or wife) and if they say that they would rather have solo sex, then there is a problem and porn is at the root of it. If you are fine with your sex life and porn, then fine, but so many of us are not.
Comment Reply
Summers_isle,
If a man ONLY looks at porn and masturbates to it every day and is refusing sex with his wife or girlfriend, who is hot and wanting sex, then porn is definitely a problem.
If a man would rather look at simulations of sex and gets less and less interested in having relations of sex, then porn is a problem. He is becoming a voyeur and NOT a participant.
I have to say to the older married ladies out there, that unless if you are 20 and 30 something and newly married or dating, then you probably don't know what I mean.
I have a friend who just got married a year ago and her marriage never even got consummated as her new husband is so addicted to porn that he can't get aroused by his new wife. They are divorcing already. I had a friend whose boyfriend couldn't have sex with her unless he furiously masturbated as he was so addicted to jerking off to porn.
I had a boyfriend myself who loved me a lot but couldn't have sex with me because he needed more extreme sex than one girl in a bed.
I have another friend who, after only three years with her fiancee, is having bedroom trouble as they are BOTH so into porn that they can't have sex without it!
I don't care what anyone says but mark my words, in a few years we will ALL be seeing the negative effects of internet porn in our society. KIds growing up now, folks in their twenties and thirties and even early forties are growing up with and are living in a time where porn has become very socially acceptable and is making it difficult to maintain realtionships.
No, No ALL men who look at porn are addicted, but it is increasingly prevalent. And MOST men who look at porn begin to subtly objectify women in their lives; oogling more, becoming more voyeuristic.
Mankind used to be more about touch, feel, flesh. Now we are more about watching, looking, staring. hence the increasing popularity of the super fit body, the fake boobs and the revulsion towards Reubenesque flesh.
I have read articles in the Times and even Vanity fair within the last few years, about how porn is affecting men today and is the crack cocaine of the internet, as there is no end to it. One can look and look forever and not get to the back page, as it were. How addictive is that!? I have spoken to addicts and they say that what keeps them looking for hour upon hour is the fact that they feel that this perfect image exists somewhere but does it really?
I feel that focusing desire upon one another in a relationship makes for a happier and better tiem in bed. Rabbi Rabbi Boteach emphases porn's destructive effect on relationships. "Pornography breeds insatiability" and "is about fundamental boredom," he said. It creates unrealistic expectations of what women really are, and that gets marriages into trouble. This, to me, is so true.
I suppose that the real question to women is "How is your sex life". If it is bad or non existant and your man is looking at porn more that being with you then you have a problem and the porn is probably the cause. Ask men if they have a good sex life(not alone but with their girlfriend or wife) and if they say that they would rather have solo sex, then there is a problem and porn is at the root of it. If you are fine with your sex life and porn, then fine, but so many of us are not.
March 11, 2010 - 11:08amThis Comment
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