Hi there, just thought I would bring you a male perspective of someone who has personally gone through this and is now much better.
Firstly in all likely hood, he is NOT gay. If he is in a relationship with you its because he is attracted to you on multiple levels. Theres is many causes for this sort of problem with men and a lot of men experience it at one point or another. It can be caused by a bad relationship (this was when it started happening for me), I had a woman who played mind games with me / cheated, and destroyed any self esteem I had. This made me feel anxious whenever I had sex. Everytime i had sex for several years after this relationship I would be worried about the fact that I may not be good enough (which makes me loose my excitement and anticipation). the moment a man has the thought "oh no im going to loose it" meaning his erection even if he hasnt yet lost it, he WILL lose it. other causes can be related to weight and general self-consciousness. the best thing you can do to help him overcome this is to not make a big deal about it. have fun when you make love but dont make fun of the situation or him (this will make it much worse the next time you try). If he has any fantasies that youve talked about and you wouldnt mind doing perhaps playing those out will help maintain his mood regardless of worries. also you can reassure him of how good he is and how good he feels, this will make him feel more powerful and confident. assuming he does ofcourse, he will know if you lie or make something up and that could be devastating. so in summary, try not to talk about his problem as it will only make him more focused on it in future attempts (let him think of solutions without you bringing them to him, with the exception of fantisies). Reassure him often, and if he still feels very insecure you could always take him to the gym making sure to mention that theres nothing wrong with his body but perhaps you both could exercise togeather. exercise makes men feel strong after they have pushed past the point of exhaustion, it releases chemicals in our brains that make us feel happier and thus less worried. also if his arms and chest grows and his stomach shrinks (long term obviously) he will feel much more confident.
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Hi there, just thought I would bring you a male perspective of someone who has personally gone through this and is now much better.
September 3, 2009 - 2:37amFirstly in all likely hood, he is NOT gay. If he is in a relationship with you its because he is attracted to you on multiple levels. Theres is many causes for this sort of problem with men and a lot of men experience it at one point or another. It can be caused by a bad relationship (this was when it started happening for me), I had a woman who played mind games with me / cheated, and destroyed any self esteem I had. This made me feel anxious whenever I had sex. Everytime i had sex for several years after this relationship I would be worried about the fact that I may not be good enough (which makes me loose my excitement and anticipation). the moment a man has the thought "oh no im going to loose it" meaning his erection even if he hasnt yet lost it, he WILL lose it. other causes can be related to weight and general self-consciousness. the best thing you can do to help him overcome this is to not make a big deal about it. have fun when you make love but dont make fun of the situation or him (this will make it much worse the next time you try). If he has any fantasies that youve talked about and you wouldnt mind doing perhaps playing those out will help maintain his mood regardless of worries. also you can reassure him of how good he is and how good he feels, this will make him feel more powerful and confident. assuming he does ofcourse, he will know if you lie or make something up and that could be devastating. so in summary, try not to talk about his problem as it will only make him more focused on it in future attempts (let him think of solutions without you bringing them to him, with the exception of fantisies). Reassure him often, and if he still feels very insecure you could always take him to the gym making sure to mention that theres nothing wrong with his body but perhaps you both could exercise togeather. exercise makes men feel strong after they have pushed past the point of exhaustion, it releases chemicals in our brains that make us feel happier and thus less worried. also if his arms and chest grows and his stomach shrinks (long term obviously) he will feel much more confident.
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