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I found this thread because I typed in the question myself and looks like we are dealing with aomething similar. So I will share in the hopes it may help you. I met my bf and he avoided sex with me the first month-and the first time we tried was a disaster-he could not maintain an erection and was upset-i was confused as I have had 4 partners before him with no issues.but he avoided the question.it wasn't until I broke up with him because he was so distant I got him to tell me why.he was distant in general and had sex problems because he was molested as a child. Able to have sex but having a breakdown at 28 he then dealt in therapy with being molested, so he was able to deal with the emotions but sexually from then on he was changed. I took him back and he was so much more open and trusting-but the sex comes and goes-sometimes he can go almost an hour but will not orgasm.sometimes he loses his erection. But he tries. I hope to get him to a dr (we've been together over a year) but he is such a sweetheart and always tries sexually-even if he has to use oral and manual means. I hope this helped you in anyway and I hope you two can make your relationship work :)