Facebook Pixel

Comment Reply

EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I'm in the same boat with my boyfriend. All the people that say, 'don't make an issue of it', 'be supportive', etc. are missing one vital point - we are allowed to have the relationship that suits us and makes us happy and who is supporting us in return??? My boyfriend is very happy and safe with me because I have spent months doing just that - not complaining, being supportive, helping gently if and when I can and listening to him being the victim of the situation ('I feel so bad I leave you frustrated etc). I'm done. Now, I kind of loathe him and feel repulsed by his weakness. Yes, just the response he dreads I guess but it IS a lack of masculinity whichever way you look at it even if he's not deep down gay - and I get the feeling that it is in some ways to do with hidden anger or frustration on his part from the past. (Psychologists say that the way we make our victims feel with a behaviour is the way we felt when the problem with the behaviour started). So, since I feel frustrated, powerless and now angry, I'm guessing someone made him feel that way when he was a kid but like ALL of us, we have to get over our childhood stuff for ourselves. I don't want to be his b*****y therapist! I'm his lover and want to feel that way so for me, this is over, sex is an important part of love and someone who can't or won't learn the basics to make the other happy is truthfully incapable of being in a full relationship and shouldn't use someone healthy to hide and bring them down to their level. As I make the decsion to end this to be honest, a wave of relief comes over me. I know I've only got to this level of anger with him because I haven't been 'allowed' to feel upset by this problem the past few months since all the advice was to be the willing guinea pig for his new exploration of self-esteem etc but do you know what, it feels good to tell the actual truth. I don't want to be. End of. Bring it on - GOOD SEX and a normal loving relationship!!!! Yay.

May 18, 2011 - 6:16am

Reply

Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy