Hello, and thanks so much for your response! =-) You are so very sweet! As far as steroids are concerned, yes he does use them and is currently on a cycle. He has used them for about 7-8 years. I found out he was using them about 6 months into our relationship. He knows that he is a roller coaster (his reason for staying busy with car/motorcycle projects at home) and puts much of his intensity into that. He is very mucha homebody and doesn't go out. We go to the bookstore, movies, dinner, and watch movies at home all the time. I feel like a mom to him (as many of use do with our male counterparts)- making meals, doing laundry, cleaning, etc.
Last night as he was leaving for work at his part-time job (he had just finished changing my oil in my car), I said to him " If you ever send any pictures to the girl at work again, I am done. I don't need that stupid, childish b-s in my life, and I deserve to be treated better. I WILL find out if it does happen again, so you need to think about what is more important- to flirt with a teenager or to have a real relationship. You don't get to have both, and that's all I'm going to say." He left without comment, and called me soon after. The conversation was unrelated to any of the drama. This morning when we were having breakfast, he said, " I just love you so much and don't ever want you to leave me." All day he has been accomodating and giving (not sexually though). I don't know if he really loves me or if he just loves the idea of having all of his needs met, and giving back only when he's in the mood. I haven't looked at his text messages since I found the picture a few weeks ago- I'm trying to be more trusting but I don't want to be naive.
Like an idiot, I am one of those women who likes to make people happy at the expense of my own happiness. He DOES do really nice things, but it seems like it's when he feels like I am upset and he wants to do something nice to reel me back in (which usually works =( ) . I don't know if he will ever grow up. He is very much a narcisscist, putting down the few friends he has, only to nuild himself up. We are totally opposite in that regard. I just feel like I am spinning my wheels and hoping for something that isn't likely to change.
What do I love about him? Gosh, great question. He can be the cuddliest, sweetest guy ever. He looks amazing. He is a very hard worker, which I truly admire. But his emotions come in doses. Sometimes for weeks he will be affectionate and loving, then after that it's like we are just 2 roommates.
Right now I am in-between jobs which makes it a little more tricky. I took a test 3 weeks ago for a state job and did very well on it, but there are a lot more steps in the process. I won't know until September until I pass all the other tests whether or not I will be hired. If by God's hand I do, I believe that is His way of saying that I am ready for a big change in my love life as well.
Should I keep away from his phone and be trusting or what? Any ideas? I'm not the stalker type, so I don't check up on him at work.
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Hello, and thanks so much for your response! =-) You are so very sweet! As far as steroids are concerned, yes he does use them and is currently on a cycle. He has used them for about 7-8 years. I found out he was using them about 6 months into our relationship. He knows that he is a roller coaster (his reason for staying busy with car/motorcycle projects at home) and puts much of his intensity into that. He is very mucha homebody and doesn't go out. We go to the bookstore, movies, dinner, and watch movies at home all the time. I feel like a mom to him (as many of use do with our male counterparts)- making meals, doing laundry, cleaning, etc.
August 14, 2009 - 8:31pmLast night as he was leaving for work at his part-time job (he had just finished changing my oil in my car), I said to him " If you ever send any pictures to the girl at work again, I am done. I don't need that stupid, childish b-s in my life, and I deserve to be treated better. I WILL find out if it does happen again, so you need to think about what is more important- to flirt with a teenager or to have a real relationship. You don't get to have both, and that's all I'm going to say." He left without comment, and called me soon after. The conversation was unrelated to any of the drama. This morning when we were having breakfast, he said, " I just love you so much and don't ever want you to leave me." All day he has been accomodating and giving (not sexually though). I don't know if he really loves me or if he just loves the idea of having all of his needs met, and giving back only when he's in the mood. I haven't looked at his text messages since I found the picture a few weeks ago- I'm trying to be more trusting but I don't want to be naive.
Like an idiot, I am one of those women who likes to make people happy at the expense of my own happiness. He DOES do really nice things, but it seems like it's when he feels like I am upset and he wants to do something nice to reel me back in (which usually works =( ) . I don't know if he will ever grow up. He is very much a narcisscist, putting down the few friends he has, only to nuild himself up. We are totally opposite in that regard. I just feel like I am spinning my wheels and hoping for something that isn't likely to change.
What do I love about him? Gosh, great question. He can be the cuddliest, sweetest guy ever. He looks amazing. He is a very hard worker, which I truly admire. But his emotions come in doses. Sometimes for weeks he will be affectionate and loving, then after that it's like we are just 2 roommates.
Right now I am in-between jobs which makes it a little more tricky. I took a test 3 weeks ago for a state job and did very well on it, but there are a lot more steps in the process. I won't know until September until I pass all the other tests whether or not I will be hired. If by God's hand I do, I believe that is His way of saying that I am ready for a big change in my love life as well.
Should I keep away from his phone and be trusting or what? Any ideas? I'm not the stalker type, so I don't check up on him at work.
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