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Anonymous

It's not in your head and you are still within the timeframe that it may mostly dissipate; I've (finally) been told that after 18 months most of the cognitive difference will be permanent. I just hit 5 years from the end of dense dose chemo for Breast Cancer. I kept hearing that it would go away at 12 months, then 18 months, then 24 months; my oncologist still states that I'm her first patient in 11years of practice that she has seen this with. After five years of struggling with treatment, side effects, getting disability, every type of rehab available (physical, cognitive, living and work), I've relaxed into my new life and try mostly to remember the tricks to keep my focused. My sadness is that I've lost five years that I can't get back -- they are a fog! However, I'm a live, my son, 19, is in college and doing well and life is more pleasure than struggle. Things that I can recommend (after much processing and thought): cancer and treatment changes everyone so know that your life cannot not be the same as before because you are not the same so talk to your soul mate, write in a journal, start a blog to explore what that means to you and your life. It's not all bad. You will discover that your brain does compensate when disrupted and new pathways mean the possibility of new talents (mine was the new ability to draw) and with your experience there maybe new interests. I believe that my creative endeavors were more therapeutic than anything else and continue to be. If you are a social person and want to remain so, sit down with your closest group of friends and explain that you are a bit different now, you don't process things (as fast or) the same way, that they mean the world to you and you need their help to explore the new you (and not expect you to be the same but they will have a hard time understanding). And, most important, if it is important for your life to have a schedule and be places on time (as your inner clock is most likely gone), learn all of the time management tricks and get your family to help to keep you focused. My son and I made it a game (on who had the worst memory). I also take Adderall that helps with multi-tasking. And, for quite a while I kept a journal of all of the "things" that I did (put knives away in my underwear drawer, milk away in the cabinet, showing up somewhere on the wrong day, wrong time or wrong place) in order to re-arrange them into humorous event; I could do a great stand up act if I could remember what to say or could think on my feet. I will admit that it took awhile to have a totally positive attitude to my life changes so my body actually decided that I needed help as I cried continuously for 2 weeks somewhere in the 12 to 18 month period. Antidepressant help keep both my physical and emotional features at bay even now so I highly suggest that if you can find 'your' support mechanism early on as I'm afraid that I may now be taking them for life.

Every event in our lives changes us so look for all of the positives and I think you'll be surprized at how many you find. Congratulations of your Survivorship and enjoy your new life.

Cheers,
Leslie

August 31, 2009 - 10:48am

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