One thought I had, after reading your question, "I don't know when it's him talking or his disease? I just don't feel like the hateful person he can be at times is the real him."
I understand what you are saying, and you want him to be the "real him" (the nice person that you know) all of the time. However, in a relationship, you are in a relationship with the whole person...and that includes the mean parts, whether it is driven by his disease, his choices not to seek treatment, or a combination. It is through his apologizing and "honeymoon" phases that he is hoping to show you the promise of how he can be, but with the honeymoon phase also always comes the abusive phase (emotional abuse, is unfortunately, abuse too). The abusive phase is the mean, hurtful and scary person comes through...the part that you hope is his disease only, and not him. And, I know it is emotionally draining, but he just can not be "the real him" in the honeymoon phase and then the "bipolar" person in the abusive phase; he is the "real him"---mental illnesses and all---in all phases.
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It is wonderful to hear back from you!
One thought I had, after reading your question, "I don't know when it's him talking or his disease? I just don't feel like the hateful person he can be at times is the real him."
I understand what you are saying, and you want him to be the "real him" (the nice person that you know) all of the time. However, in a relationship, you are in a relationship with the whole person...and that includes the mean parts, whether it is driven by his disease, his choices not to seek treatment, or a combination. It is through his apologizing and "honeymoon" phases that he is hoping to show you the promise of how he can be, but with the honeymoon phase also always comes the abusive phase (emotional abuse, is unfortunately, abuse too). The abusive phase is the mean, hurtful and scary person comes through...the part that you hope is his disease only, and not him. And, I know it is emotionally draining, but he just can not be "the real him" in the honeymoon phase and then the "bipolar" person in the abusive phase; he is the "real him"---mental illnesses and all---in all phases.
I wish you much happiness!
October 6, 2009 - 2:24pmThis Comment
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