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Anonymous

My granddaughter was diagnosed with AS a few months ago. In all the research and discussion since then it's become apparent I probably have it too. I never knew.
This resonated with me: "..for the AS individual who has spent their life bumping up against misunderstandings and anger and rejection for reasons they couldn't begin to understand, such a diagnosis can bring relief. "
And it can bring relief. For about a week or so. Then further research reveals all one can expect from this is more ostracism.
Point proven in the ridiculous, judgmental comments here: "oooh that sounds like my stubborn, broken husband! It's all HIS fault! Yay me!" They can blame AS now. When he needs some peace that's just his AS, not her inability to shut up for 5 minutes. When he's disinterested that's because he's disabled, not because she's boring. When he can't keep up with her need for attention that's his failure, not her insecurity. What a lucky wife she is to have no responsibility in her marriage!
AS or not, I know I love deeply. I'm the most loyal, forgiving, understanding person I know. But it's been my experience that people don't want that kind of love. They want me to fake something LESS. They want tokens, not the real thing.
So I've spent my life lonely. Even within a "good" marriage I became so lonely my choices boiled down to divorce or suicide.
I put it you, long suffering wives of aspies: with your allegedly superior neurotypical capacity for empathy, can you even begin to comprehend the pain of a "life bumping up against misunderstandings and anger and rejection for reasons they couldn't begin to understand?"
Love thy husband. He's only human.

December 29, 2012 - 2:12am

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