I can't believe I came across a story like yours because I can empathize with you. Our story is very similar but different. I, too, is 30 years old and had a boyfriend who was 40. And honestly, I've been with him for 1.5 years and our sex wasn't that great. He doesn't initate it and he has turned me down before a few times. I thought it was me. I was angry all the time and I was mad at him for not wanting me the way I wanted him. I started rationalizing everything and it drove me crazy. Bottom line, I'm 30 and I was a late bloomer, I was hungry for sex all the time because my previous relationships have been intense in the sex department. Then i come across this guy (the 40 year old) who used to sell sex toys and DVDs on the side and so I thought he had a kinky side to him. It turned me on. It turns out to be the opposite, low libido. I can't talk for all the guys out there who are 40 but my man had a low sex drive. I tried every thing possible to ignite that fire burning so deep inside me, from bubble baths with rose petals, new bed sheets that smelled like vanilla, I wore cute lingerie to bed, i gave him sex coupons, sex scratchers. Honest to goodness, I went all out on him because I loved him. But then at some point, I have reached my max and I had to call it quits. I stayed with him for a few more months because I did tell him I was unhappy. He told me he would make a conscientious effort. But did he? When I gave him a few more months, I ddint give him an ultimatum, I simply had him on time clock after I told him about my unhappiness in the relationship. My dealer breaker wasn't the fact that our sex sucked, it was the fact that he didnt want to make an effort to make it better. I tried but I failed. But it's ok now because now I'm with someone who is a nympho and I can't keep up but it does keep me going. And I love it.
One thing I've learned from all of this is that, you need to balance what works for you. Is sex the only factor that have affected your relationship or are there others? Weigh in the pros and cons and decide what you want to do about it. Someone once told me that change won't happen until you start doing something about it. I have to be the spark that ignites the blaze that will either eat this relationship up or makes him realize what he'll lose- a beautiful, strong, loving, caring woman!!!
Guess who finally comes knocking down my door? But only a few months late....
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I can't believe I came across a story like yours because I can empathize with you. Our story is very similar but different. I, too, is 30 years old and had a boyfriend who was 40. And honestly, I've been with him for 1.5 years and our sex wasn't that great. He doesn't initate it and he has turned me down before a few times. I thought it was me. I was angry all the time and I was mad at him for not wanting me the way I wanted him. I started rationalizing everything and it drove me crazy. Bottom line, I'm 30 and I was a late bloomer, I was hungry for sex all the time because my previous relationships have been intense in the sex department. Then i come across this guy (the 40 year old) who used to sell sex toys and DVDs on the side and so I thought he had a kinky side to him. It turned me on. It turns out to be the opposite, low libido. I can't talk for all the guys out there who are 40 but my man had a low sex drive. I tried every thing possible to ignite that fire burning so deep inside me, from bubble baths with rose petals, new bed sheets that smelled like vanilla, I wore cute lingerie to bed, i gave him sex coupons, sex scratchers. Honest to goodness, I went all out on him because I loved him. But then at some point, I have reached my max and I had to call it quits. I stayed with him for a few more months because I did tell him I was unhappy. He told me he would make a conscientious effort. But did he? When I gave him a few more months, I ddint give him an ultimatum, I simply had him on time clock after I told him about my unhappiness in the relationship. My dealer breaker wasn't the fact that our sex sucked, it was the fact that he didnt want to make an effort to make it better. I tried but I failed. But it's ok now because now I'm with someone who is a nympho and I can't keep up but it does keep me going. And I love it.
One thing I've learned from all of this is that, you need to balance what works for you. Is sex the only factor that have affected your relationship or are there others? Weigh in the pros and cons and decide what you want to do about it. Someone once told me that change won't happen until you start doing something about it. I have to be the spark that ignites the blaze that will either eat this relationship up or makes him realize what he'll lose- a beautiful, strong, loving, caring woman!!!
Guess who finally comes knocking down my door? But only a few months late....
March 5, 2015 - 3:30amThis Comment
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