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Thank you so much for this article. I am in my 40’s and just coming to the realization that my mother may have Asperger’s. My childhood was painful. My relationship with her now is difficult because I often feel like the parent and have a lot of resentment (something I’m working on in therapy). The more I look into Asperger’s, the more sense it makes. Back in the 70’s and 80’s there wasn’t a name for it. All I knew was that my mother wasn’t like other mothers I knew. She wasn’t nurturing and never showed affection, often seemed cold, was rude and offensive to people without meaning to be, didn’t adhere to society’s ‘rules’ or etiquette. I would tiptoe around the house and try not to make too much noise. She was very controlling. I thought she was just very unhappy. I spent a lot of time at my friends house and lived with my friend’s family for a while when I was a teen. My mother didn’t want me around until I became an adult and left the house, and then she became clingy. As a child I was often embarrassed by her behavior. As an adult I try to protect her (she doesn’t mean to be rude or offensive but comes off this way. People get offended by her so I try to remind her to say ‘thank you’ and acknowledge others, etc. I’m always watching her behavior and it’s exhausting). She doesn’t have friends and I’m the only person she feels comfortable with. I also feel that I’ve molded myself into a person that makes her the most comfortable. I’m working on distancing myself some. I’d like to know who I am as a person separate from her and this is something I’m working on. I still want to have a relationship with her but a healthier one if at all possible. Thank you again for this article and also to everyone who shared. I’m grateful to know I’m not alone.

January 31, 2018 - 6:08pm


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