I am so sorry to hear about your dad, and of course his recent accident and physical (and emotional) consequences are effecting not only him, but all of those around him.
Sadness is a normal response, and there are many options for you.
First, a few questions. Are you your dad's primary caregiver, or do you still live in the same house (which has now been disrupted)? Does your dad have adequate care, both physical and emotional by health care professionals and relatives that are his age...or is he depending on you for physical and emotional care and support?
This is an important distinction to know: if you are a caregiver without choice, are having to help your dad who may be financially strained by his accident (which also can effect your chances of going to college, etc.)...or are you living in the household where your dad is receiving great care and support...and you are feeling that you are sad and need help, too.
There are very specific signs of clinical depression, and here is a great website to know if you are feeling sad vs. clinically depressed from Dartmouth College:
Signs of Clinical Depression:
* Concentration is often impaired
* Inability to experience pleasure
* Increase in self-critical thoughts with a voice in the back of one's mind providing a constant barrage of harsh, negative statements
* Sleep disturbance or unable to fall back to sleep
* Feeling fatigued after 12 hours of sleep
* Decrease in appetite or food loses its taste
* Feelings of guilt, helplessness and/or hopelessness
* Thoughts of suicide
* Increased isolation
* Missing deadlines or a drop in standards
* Change in personality
* Increased sexual promiscuity
* Increased alcohol/drug use
If someone experiences most of the above symptoms for more than two weeks, there is a good chance they are suffering from a clinical depression.
It is OK to feel sad, and is a normal, healthy response to losing someone through a death, or losing them in the sense that they are no longer the same person, such as a disability. You will be able to emotionally work through this time, and even rebound enough to help your dad and family...but first, it might be time to grieve and be sad. It really is OK to be sad, and there is a time and place to do so. There are some helpful hints on ""how to be sad", as many of us are told/shown to hide our emotions and only express happiness. You are sad for a very specific reason, originating from a very specific event. Allow yourself to be sad, journal, go for a walk, listen to music, talk to friends. If your sadness turns to depression (see above list for signs), then it is time to talk with a professional counselor or psychologist. You can start with your school counselor as a good resource.
Please let us know how you are doing, and how else we can help you.
Comment Reply
Lupita,
I am so sorry to hear about your dad, and of course his recent accident and physical (and emotional) consequences are effecting not only him, but all of those around him.
Sadness is a normal response, and there are many options for you.
First, a few questions. Are you your dad's primary caregiver, or do you still live in the same house (which has now been disrupted)? Does your dad have adequate care, both physical and emotional by health care professionals and relatives that are his age...or is he depending on you for physical and emotional care and support?
This is an important distinction to know: if you are a caregiver without choice, are having to help your dad who may be financially strained by his accident (which also can effect your chances of going to college, etc.)...or are you living in the household where your dad is receiving great care and support...and you are feeling that you are sad and need help, too.
There are very specific signs of clinical depression, and here is a great website to know if you are feeling sad vs. clinically depressed from Dartmouth College:
Signs of Clinical Depression:
* Concentration is often impaired
* Inability to experience pleasure
* Increase in self-critical thoughts with a voice in the back of one's mind providing a constant barrage of harsh, negative statements
* Sleep disturbance or unable to fall back to sleep
* Feeling fatigued after 12 hours of sleep
* Decrease in appetite or food loses its taste
* Feelings of guilt, helplessness and/or hopelessness
* Thoughts of suicide
* Increased isolation
* Missing deadlines or a drop in standards
* Change in personality
* Increased sexual promiscuity
* Increased alcohol/drug use
If someone experiences most of the above symptoms for more than two weeks, there is a good chance they are suffering from a clinical depression.
It is OK to feel sad, and is a normal, healthy response to losing someone through a death, or losing them in the sense that they are no longer the same person, such as a disability. You will be able to emotionally work through this time, and even rebound enough to help your dad and family...but first, it might be time to grieve and be sad. It really is OK to be sad, and there is a time and place to do so. There are some helpful hints on ""how to be sad", as many of us are told/shown to hide our emotions and only express happiness. You are sad for a very specific reason, originating from a very specific event. Allow yourself to be sad, journal, go for a walk, listen to music, talk to friends. If your sadness turns to depression (see above list for signs), then it is time to talk with a professional counselor or psychologist. You can start with your school counselor as a good resource.
Please let us know how you are doing, and how else we can help you.
October 25, 2009 - 12:50pmThis Comment
Reply