Hi : my name is Melissa and I am dealing with a similar situation to many of the women that have been explaining their story. I have been having intamcy issues with my boyfriend. He refuses to have sex with me and will not touch me in any sexual or romantic way. I have tried almost everything that I can think of too boost his mood or to present my self In a more sexy light !! I've prepared more healthy food for him, changed my outfits to more sexy attire, talked more dirty and constantly putting moves on him. The more I bring it up he tells me I am being selfish and we end up in an argument. I am 28 years old he is 38 years old. We have been dating for over 2 years and when we first went out are sex life was amazing. Actually the best I have ever experienced in my life. we were having sex at least 3-4 times a week & now I'm lucky if I have sex once in 3- 3 1/2 months. I recently in the past 8 months have become sober and since then are sex life has gone down hill. I'm not sure if that is related but it is a possibility. I have previously struggled with anorexia and bulimia in my early 20's and I am trying not to let this constant rejection and feeling of being unwanted & unloved effect my self esteem but I'm getting to the breaking point. I know that I can not change him but I wish there was something I can do to understand what is going on through his mind to maybe help him. Another key point to my situation is in the beginning of our relationship my boyfriend had to endure some deception from me. I had lied to him about a few things and continued to find my self lieing from time to time . I have gone to therapy and have vowed not to lie to him and keep trust and or working on trust my top priority in my relationship with him. He knows this and thru my actions I truly believe that he knows I am honest with him now, and that he knows how much I love him. & that the lieing has stopped. This may be a dumb question but I guess I am wondering if this is why he will not be intimate with me anymore, And if it is can or will it ever get better? Our relationship has been going very well since I have been sober and we get along great in all other avenues :: except sex!!
Anyways I just don't know what else to do and if this can ever be remedied, I'd do anything for him to find me attractive or want me again. Thank you to whoever read my post. It felt good to write down my frustrations.