Anon,
Diane gave you excellent resources...and I think the last piece of the puzzle is from Dr. Klein, our medical expert, who discusses the communication, support and caring aspects of a relationship, with a sample script that you can use (of course, fill in your own words related to your situation; this post was about "non-existent sex").
The main premise of this post from Dr. Klein is:
"...you say, 'We both really love each other, but [he] refuses to [talk about sex, makes excuses, doesn't care about my needs, etc].' You know, people tell me all the time how much they love each other, and after 29 years as a marriage counselor and a sex therapist, I honestly don’t know what that means."
"I always figured that when people love each other that means that when somebody says, 'Honey, this is really important to me that you pay attention to this. You don’t have to do it my way, but it’s really important that you take my pain seriously,' I would assume that that’s the most important definition of love. But I see so many people that that’s not part of the definition for them, and your example is a good example of that." "..."So, I don’t know what it means that you love each other."
Following this is a script that you can use. I really hope this helps!
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Anon,
Diane gave you excellent resources...and I think the last piece of the puzzle is from Dr. Klein, our medical expert, who discusses the communication, support and caring aspects of a relationship, with a sample script that you can use (of course, fill in your own words related to your situation; this post was about "non-existent sex").
The main premise of this post from Dr. Klein is:
"...you say, 'We both really love each other, but [he] refuses to [talk about sex, makes excuses, doesn't care about my needs, etc].' You know, people tell me all the time how much they love each other, and after 29 years as a marriage counselor and a sex therapist, I honestly don’t know what that means."
"I always figured that when people love each other that means that when somebody says, 'Honey, this is really important to me that you pay attention to this. You don’t have to do it my way, but it’s really important that you take my pain seriously,' I would assume that that’s the most important definition of love. But I see so many people that that’s not part of the definition for them, and your example is a good example of that." "..."So, I don’t know what it means that you love each other."
Following this is a script that you can use. I really hope this helps!
You can read the entire post (or listen to the audio) at:Dr. Klein: Non-existent Sex in Marriage; What Should I Do?
November 3, 2009 - 12:40pmThis Comment
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