Hi Robin - I'm glad to hear that you are able to talk with your minister. I'm sure that provides a lot of comfort.
It may surprise you, but it's perfectly normal for those close to you to not want to talk about your illness. Seems strange, doesn't it, but I've heard over and over again from people with serious illness how surprised they were by their "good friends" who just weren't there for them. So, let's start by looking at how you can be your own best friend, and where you go from there.
First, you do need to talk about this in some way. Multiple studies have proven that patients who are able to express themselves do better clinically, and we want you at your best. Journaling is a good outlet, whether just in your own home for yourself, or online in a blog that's shared with others. Second, recognize that your friends don't know how to help you or what to say and that makes them uncomfortable. It's not that they don't like you, they do. But they're as unprepared as you are to deal with this. It helps then to think about the ways, other than talking about your health, that they can support you and for you to tell them and let them do this for you. They will appreciate it if you do this and become more comfortable. I speak from my own personal experiences with the same frustrations and finally figuring out what was really going on. :-)
For support groups, I have several suggestions. Ask your physicians, or others in the medical practices, if they have suggestions or if they have a website, see if any information is listed. If there's a hospital associated with your treatment, check out that hospital's website to see if they have local support groups. Use the health events search feature on EmpowHer to look for local events. Use Google to search for groups and use keywords related to your broad categories (rheumatology, dermatology) and your specific diagnoses and your local community and nationally.
It may take some work and some patience to find the right group, but don't give up. You want to be with people you're comfortable with, and some groups just may not be right for you. If this was a business deal, and it wasn't right, you'd move on , wouldn't you? Well, when you're your own best advocate for your health, you need to be just as particular and discerning as you would in business.
If you give this a try and have trouble, just write back and let me know where you're having problems or need help. We're able to tap into a lot of different resources here, and are happy to do so.
Robin I hope you have a nice weekend and that your "best friend" treats you to something special that you and your son both enjoy.
Take good care,
Pat
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Hi Robin - I'm glad to hear that you are able to talk with your minister. I'm sure that provides a lot of comfort.
It may surprise you, but it's perfectly normal for those close to you to not want to talk about your illness. Seems strange, doesn't it, but I've heard over and over again from people with serious illness how surprised they were by their "good friends" who just weren't there for them. So, let's start by looking at how you can be your own best friend, and where you go from there.
First, you do need to talk about this in some way. Multiple studies have proven that patients who are able to express themselves do better clinically, and we want you at your best. Journaling is a good outlet, whether just in your own home for yourself, or online in a blog that's shared with others. Second, recognize that your friends don't know how to help you or what to say and that makes them uncomfortable. It's not that they don't like you, they do. But they're as unprepared as you are to deal with this. It helps then to think about the ways, other than talking about your health, that they can support you and for you to tell them and let them do this for you. They will appreciate it if you do this and become more comfortable. I speak from my own personal experiences with the same frustrations and finally figuring out what was really going on. :-)
For support groups, I have several suggestions. Ask your physicians, or others in the medical practices, if they have suggestions or if they have a website, see if any information is listed. If there's a hospital associated with your treatment, check out that hospital's website to see if they have local support groups. Use the health events search feature on EmpowHer to look for local events. Use Google to search for groups and use keywords related to your broad categories (rheumatology, dermatology) and your specific diagnoses and your local community and nationally.
It may take some work and some patience to find the right group, but don't give up. You want to be with people you're comfortable with, and some groups just may not be right for you. If this was a business deal, and it wasn't right, you'd move on , wouldn't you? Well, when you're your own best advocate for your health, you need to be just as particular and discerning as you would in business.
If you give this a try and have trouble, just write back and let me know where you're having problems or need help. We're able to tap into a lot of different resources here, and are happy to do so.
Robin I hope you have a nice weekend and that your "best friend" treats you to something special that you and your son both enjoy.
November 6, 2009 - 5:31pmTake good care,
Pat
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