Susan gave you wonderful advice, and I am wondering if you've talked...and really listened...with your boyfriend about his child. Your first post sounded like the child is more of a nuisance to you, and then your subsequent posts say that your boyfriend is going through a situation of trying to remedy the child custody issues?! Do you see the discrepancy here: you are worried that your boyfriend isn't having more sex with you ("showing his love", perhaps), and I'm wondering if you are feeling insecure that his attention and emotional, physical energy are being spent on his child and the custody issue, and that you don't think enough of it is being spent on you? Deep down...do you think this is a fear you may have? What happens if your boyfriend has custody, or spends more time with his child that you don't like in his life...are you afraid of what that means to you, or to your relationship with him, or that you will need to have a different perspective on his child?
This is HUGE in his life, and I'm hoping you are able to support him emotionally through this process; it could really drain him and he may not feel like having sex frequently at this time. Even if you don't think this child custody "thing" is a big deal for him...it is definitely some type of stressor that could be weighing on him just enough to cause a difference in his sex drive.
Plus...you say you love him, and this child is in the way...do you think that he may be worried that you feel this way toward his child?
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Susan gave you wonderful advice, and I am wondering if you've talked...and really listened...with your boyfriend about his child. Your first post sounded like the child is more of a nuisance to you, and then your subsequent posts say that your boyfriend is going through a situation of trying to remedy the child custody issues?! Do you see the discrepancy here: you are worried that your boyfriend isn't having more sex with you ("showing his love", perhaps), and I'm wondering if you are feeling insecure that his attention and emotional, physical energy are being spent on his child and the custody issue, and that you don't think enough of it is being spent on you? Deep down...do you think this is a fear you may have? What happens if your boyfriend has custody, or spends more time with his child that you don't like in his life...are you afraid of what that means to you, or to your relationship with him, or that you will need to have a different perspective on his child?
This is HUGE in his life, and I'm hoping you are able to support him emotionally through this process; it could really drain him and he may not feel like having sex frequently at this time. Even if you don't think this child custody "thing" is a big deal for him...it is definitely some type of stressor that could be weighing on him just enough to cause a difference in his sex drive.
Plus...you say you love him, and this child is in the way...do you think that he may be worried that you feel this way toward his child?
November 8, 2009 - 2:13pmThis Comment
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