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Wow---I have a totally different perspective--I think this is a great gift!

I am sorry you are upset, but I do see some assumptions made on your part that may be inaccurate (and help you not feel so betrayed, if you look at them differently).

You are assuming that your boyfriend gave you this gift because:
- he/it isn't romantic
- it's more of a gag gift
- he's too lazy to have sex with me
- gift doesn't say I love you
- impulsive gift without any thought

May I respectfully offer another viewpoint? If you are hurt by this, you have every right to your feelings, but since you asked...I wanted to give you another opinion. Many women would see this gift as very romantic, sensual, exotic and intimate.

We receive so many concerns from women who are angry that their male partner is not open to talking about sex, their needs and desires, will not try different things or is just interested in himself/his fulfillment...that your boyfriend is definitely trying to make your sex life fun, interesting, fulfilling for both of you! Plus, he listened to what you said you wanted---he really can't read your mind if you didn't mean what you said--and as Diane pointed out, he actually went through the trouble and embarrassment to buy you a sex toy. If you wanted the gift presented in a different way, I'm not sure a gift receiver can be that choose-y (would he have bought you the wrong kind of flowers or jewelry...many men hesitate and can't pick out the right kind of jewelry since it depends on personal taste.) Would you have been irritated at him, regardless of the gift, if you are having some relationship turbulence right now?

I'm not sure why you were uncomfortable with receiving the gift, unless he gave it to you at a public birthday party? That I could understand; I'm hoping he gave you the gift when you two were alone?

Lastly, since you are having some troubles in the bedroom, this may be his way of communicating with you that he is trying, wants to get to know what you like, try something new...it sounds to an outsider that he was very thoughtful about the gift!

November 12, 2009 - 1:20pm

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