Sometimes I think it has something to do with me because I have such a high sex drive. The first thing I think when I wake up in the morning is how long it's been since we last did it. I don't think that's normal, personally, but I know he probably has more of an issue than I do. I don't have a problem with him being attracted to men, same way any heterosexual male would be attracted to other women... it's just human nature. What matters is if it's acted upon, which I couldn't tell if it has or not. Sometimes I feel that his needs are being met with someone else, but I think it's more likely that that "someone else" in reality is just porn. It makes it a little more dealable because he isn't actually cheating on me. I have no problem with him watching it, but when it starts to replace me, I have a big problem with it. As far as this 3 relationship thing is concerned, I never knew that this is how he thought relationships should be until after we got married. At first he was reluctant to tell me about it, because as he put it, he didn't want to "ruin anything"... between he and I. I kind of forced it out of him because he had become so distant and it was really starting to get to me. He said that as far back as he could remember he just didn't think it was normal to be in a relationship with just one person... that people were meant to be in multiple relationships, but all with each other... kind of like a harem. I told him that if he feels the necessity to act on that, this marriage isn't going to work. He swore to me that he would rather give up the idea of the "3-person relationship" for the sake of being with me. There are so many things that enter into why he loses his desire for sex from time to time that I'm not sure which it is at what time. I wish I could just sit back and let him come to me when he's ready, but I don't think that is particularly fair either. I have needs as well. I just get scared that he'll never want to sleep with me again and will just use porn as a release so he doesn't have to deal with actually doing it.
Comment Reply
Sometimes I think it has something to do with me because I have such a high sex drive. The first thing I think when I wake up in the morning is how long it's been since we last did it. I don't think that's normal, personally, but I know he probably has more of an issue than I do. I don't have a problem with him being attracted to men, same way any heterosexual male would be attracted to other women... it's just human nature. What matters is if it's acted upon, which I couldn't tell if it has or not. Sometimes I feel that his needs are being met with someone else, but I think it's more likely that that "someone else" in reality is just porn. It makes it a little more dealable because he isn't actually cheating on me. I have no problem with him watching it, but when it starts to replace me, I have a big problem with it. As far as this 3 relationship thing is concerned, I never knew that this is how he thought relationships should be until after we got married. At first he was reluctant to tell me about it, because as he put it, he didn't want to "ruin anything"... between he and I. I kind of forced it out of him because he had become so distant and it was really starting to get to me. He said that as far back as he could remember he just didn't think it was normal to be in a relationship with just one person... that people were meant to be in multiple relationships, but all with each other... kind of like a harem. I told him that if he feels the necessity to act on that, this marriage isn't going to work. He swore to me that he would rather give up the idea of the "3-person relationship" for the sake of being with me. There are so many things that enter into why he loses his desire for sex from time to time that I'm not sure which it is at what time. I wish I could just sit back and let him come to me when he's ready, but I don't think that is particularly fair either. I have needs as well. I just get scared that he'll never want to sleep with me again and will just use porn as a release so he doesn't have to deal with actually doing it.
November 15, 2009 - 11:42amThis Comment
Reply