Talking with your therapist is wonderful medicine. I hope you can do that regularly while you work on this issue, especially about how it connects to your feelings of being ugly and unwanted when he's not interested.
If backing off has helped, that's an awesome first step. Be patient. After a period of time goes by, your initiating sex might not be such of a "hot button," so to speak. Perhaps after a few weeks of letting him initiate and letting the whole issue cool off, there can be another conversation in which you bring up issues like your not feeling that you can initiate.
Despite the progress, you may still feel at some point that the two of you are still incompatible sexually. But it sounds like you're taking those baby steps toward figuring out just what you need -- and how to make it work.
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Anon,
Talking with your therapist is wonderful medicine. I hope you can do that regularly while you work on this issue, especially about how it connects to your feelings of being ugly and unwanted when he's not interested.
If backing off has helped, that's an awesome first step. Be patient. After a period of time goes by, your initiating sex might not be such of a "hot button," so to speak. Perhaps after a few weeks of letting him initiate and letting the whole issue cool off, there can be another conversation in which you bring up issues like your not feeling that you can initiate.
Despite the progress, you may still feel at some point that the two of you are still incompatible sexually. But it sounds like you're taking those baby steps toward figuring out just what you need -- and how to make it work.
November 18, 2009 - 10:36amThis Comment
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