How are you doing? I've been thinking about you and your medical issues (Her Option) that you posted about, while trying to physically heal from this procedure you are also trying to emotionally manage your son's leaving for college. This is a rough time for you, and I'm glad you are able to talk with us.
Susan provided some great advice and resources, and I wanted to know what you found helpful. Also...do you enjoy journaling, or think this would help you? I'm wondering if you have been able to sort-out your feelings, as it sounds like your sense of loss (from your son's leaving for college) is compounded by the fact that you and him have "been through a lot" together.
You also mentioned, "...and for me to see him going away to better himself and become successful is very emotionally hard."
These are some profound feelings that you are having, and perhaps writing them down (or speaking with a counselor) to help sort out them all out would help. You no doubt have feelings of sadness, loss, physical fatigue from your medical procedure, but are also feeling some mom-guilt that you should be happy for him, or shouldn't be thinking about how his leaving effects you. Is this some of what you are feeling?
If so, I think it is very helpful to sort out and identify the different thoughts and feelings, even the "yucky" ones that "moms aren't supposed to feel" (you know--the ones that makes us sound selfish because we're actually thinking about ourselves and not just our kids!). What specifically are you worried about? If you can identify the gamete of thoughts and feelings, then you can specifically problem-solve each one and it really will provide some guidance to how to move forward. You can problem-solve in many ways: journaling, talking with a trusted friend or family member (who won't judge), or a counselor.
Please let us know what you decide to do, and I hope you will hear from other parents who have gone through this same thing.
Another resource for you: many colleges and universities have Parent Groups, as all of the parents are going through the exact same situation you are, at the exact same moment. These groups are typically run through the Student Affairs/Student Life (or similar) department; you can call and ask!
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How are you doing? I've been thinking about you and your medical issues (Her Option) that you posted about, while trying to physically heal from this procedure you are also trying to emotionally manage your son's leaving for college. This is a rough time for you, and I'm glad you are able to talk with us.
Susan provided some great advice and resources, and I wanted to know what you found helpful. Also...do you enjoy journaling, or think this would help you? I'm wondering if you have been able to sort-out your feelings, as it sounds like your sense of loss (from your son's leaving for college) is compounded by the fact that you and him have "been through a lot" together.
You also mentioned, "...and for me to see him going away to better himself and become successful is very emotionally hard."
These are some profound feelings that you are having, and perhaps writing them down (or speaking with a counselor) to help sort out them all out would help. You no doubt have feelings of sadness, loss, physical fatigue from your medical procedure, but are also feeling some mom-guilt that you should be happy for him, or shouldn't be thinking about how his leaving effects you. Is this some of what you are feeling?
If so, I think it is very helpful to sort out and identify the different thoughts and feelings, even the "yucky" ones that "moms aren't supposed to feel" (you know--the ones that makes us sound selfish because we're actually thinking about ourselves and not just our kids!). What specifically are you worried about? If you can identify the gamete of thoughts and feelings, then you can specifically problem-solve each one and it really will provide some guidance to how to move forward. You can problem-solve in many ways: journaling, talking with a trusted friend or family member (who won't judge), or a counselor.
Please let us know what you decide to do, and I hope you will hear from other parents who have gone through this same thing.
Another resource for you: many colleges and universities have Parent Groups, as all of the parents are going through the exact same situation you are, at the exact same moment. These groups are typically run through the Student Affairs/Student Life (or similar) department; you can call and ask!
November 24, 2009 - 3:19pmThis Comment
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