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I think that your advice is good. However, I do not think he is being graded on his performance at all. He has said many times how great he is at sex, and implied that this can't be his fault. I think his attitude of blame is another issue. He says it's not his fault, but implies that it is somewhat my fault. It is not his fault that he does not enjoy sex with me that much, but it is not my fault either because I am trying any suggestion that he gives me. Part of the problem may be that he has had a lot more experience than I have. He is the only person I have had sex with, and I am admittedly not very confident sexually. The only way I will become more confident is through positive reinforcement, which I am not getting at the moment. It makes sense that I would be less desirable because I am not a take charge, sex goddess. However, it should be desirable that he is the only person I have been intimate with, and he can teach me what he likes. We will try not having sex for awhile and see how it goes when we do have sex again. I think we both need to forget the past and start fresh, but I don't know exactly how to put all the old thoughts out of our heads.