Hi lonesome1 - Yes, it's always hard whether you're the one saying "I'm leaving" or the one saying "You have to go." This situation has got to be difficult for both of you, and it doesn't help to have it coming just before the holidays.
Do you have a close friend or a counselor or perhaps a spiritual guide? If not, is there any kind of support group, women's help center, healthcare practitioner available to you? Someone objective that you could trust, who could help you sort out your feelings?
You seem to be moving toward accepting the break up, dealing with a lot of fear, wrestling with doubt, and also taking on the practical concerns that would come with a move. That's an awful lot to be taking on by one's self, especially when you're losing someone close to you that most likely was your confidante before.
However you do it, what's needed is to find a way to figure out what YOU want and what's best for YOU. Continuing to find ways of evaluating the situation in terms of the impact on him is holding you back from going forward.
Look at it this way - 10, 20, 30 years from now, you're still going to be living with you. How will what you do today affect the person you will be in the future? What's in your own best interest? What supports you? If you were a good friend talking to you, what would you say?
I hope this helps. Getting a clear head in the midst of turmoil is never easy for any of us. I think you're on the path to getting there though. Will you keep us posted? Pat
Comment Reply
Hi lonesome1 - Yes, it's always hard whether you're the one saying "I'm leaving" or the one saying "You have to go." This situation has got to be difficult for both of you, and it doesn't help to have it coming just before the holidays.
Do you have a close friend or a counselor or perhaps a spiritual guide? If not, is there any kind of support group, women's help center, healthcare practitioner available to you? Someone objective that you could trust, who could help you sort out your feelings?
You seem to be moving toward accepting the break up, dealing with a lot of fear, wrestling with doubt, and also taking on the practical concerns that would come with a move. That's an awful lot to be taking on by one's self, especially when you're losing someone close to you that most likely was your confidante before.
However you do it, what's needed is to find a way to figure out what YOU want and what's best for YOU. Continuing to find ways of evaluating the situation in terms of the impact on him is holding you back from going forward.
Look at it this way - 10, 20, 30 years from now, you're still going to be living with you. How will what you do today affect the person you will be in the future? What's in your own best interest? What supports you? If you were a good friend talking to you, what would you say?
I hope this helps. Getting a clear head in the midst of turmoil is never easy for any of us. I think you're on the path to getting there though. Will you keep us posted? Pat
December 5, 2009 - 1:09pmThis Comment
Reply