Pat gave you great advice. I don't have much to ask except this: You don't want to be pitiful, you know? You don't want to stay in a relationship where someone doesn't want to be there. You don't want to be so needy that you say "stay" just because you are afraid to go.
You should stay if you think he is the one for you. And that there is potential to be loving, equal partners who work together to enjoy life and solve problems. And he needs to believe those things too.
If that's not going to happen, Lonesome1, you need to be able to let go with some dignity. Don't cry, beg or plead. Don't fall for this passive-aggressive "it's your choice" thing. If he won't come out and say what he wants to happen, he's not being honest with himself or you.
I know how frightening it is to think that you'll never find anyone like him again, or anyone better for you. But that can't decide whether HE is good for you.
This is mostly a matter of weakness and strength. Work your way toward the strength end of it, Lonesome. Trust yourself to be secure in yourself, too.
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Lonesome1,
So glad to hear from you again.
Pat gave you great advice. I don't have much to ask except this: You don't want to be pitiful, you know? You don't want to stay in a relationship where someone doesn't want to be there. You don't want to be so needy that you say "stay" just because you are afraid to go.
You should stay if you think he is the one for you. And that there is potential to be loving, equal partners who work together to enjoy life and solve problems. And he needs to believe those things too.
If that's not going to happen, Lonesome1, you need to be able to let go with some dignity. Don't cry, beg or plead. Don't fall for this passive-aggressive "it's your choice" thing. If he won't come out and say what he wants to happen, he's not being honest with himself or you.
I know how frightening it is to think that you'll never find anyone like him again, or anyone better for you. But that can't decide whether HE is good for you.
This is mostly a matter of weakness and strength. Work your way toward the strength end of it, Lonesome. Trust yourself to be secure in yourself, too.
December 7, 2009 - 9:17amThis Comment
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