Sorry you are going through this. I also have recently dealt with similar issues in my marriage of 12 years. I'm 43 and felt that he didn't find me attractive anymore (although I haven't exactly let myself go :). After several months of couples counselling, we uncovered his porn addiction as a BIG part of the problem. Basically, if he's gratifying himself, he's not coming to you for intimacy. We also found that my husband has major intimacy isssues (i.e. horrible relationship w/ his mother) and has actually gotten to the point where porn is more comfortable to him than real-lfe. Anyway, bottom-line is that looks really had little to do with it. It took lots of therapy to get to the point where I can stop blaming myself, so I know it is hard to believe this when you are facing rejection, but I doubt your physical appearance has anything whatsoever to do with it.
After months of couples therapy, we have a better relationship, but still have a LONG way to go (and I'm not sure I'm up for the trip, but am working on it now for the sake of my children). We didn't get help until our relationship was completely broken, so my advice for you would be to get help now while your marriage is still young, and stay strong! Also, spending time with friends (and focusing less on your husband) will help you with your perspective improve your outlook. Good luck!
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Sorry you are going through this. I also have recently dealt with similar issues in my marriage of 12 years. I'm 43 and felt that he didn't find me attractive anymore (although I haven't exactly let myself go :). After several months of couples counselling, we uncovered his porn addiction as a BIG part of the problem. Basically, if he's gratifying himself, he's not coming to you for intimacy. We also found that my husband has major intimacy isssues (i.e. horrible relationship w/ his mother) and has actually gotten to the point where porn is more comfortable to him than real-lfe. Anyway, bottom-line is that looks really had little to do with it. It took lots of therapy to get to the point where I can stop blaming myself, so I know it is hard to believe this when you are facing rejection, but I doubt your physical appearance has anything whatsoever to do with it.
December 23, 2009 - 9:19amAfter months of couples therapy, we have a better relationship, but still have a LONG way to go (and I'm not sure I'm up for the trip, but am working on it now for the sake of my children). We didn't get help until our relationship was completely broken, so my advice for you would be to get help now while your marriage is still young, and stay strong! Also, spending time with friends (and focusing less on your husband) will help you with your perspective improve your outlook. Good luck!
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