I have genital herpes, which I got from my then boyfriend about a year ago. In the last six months I have been having sex with a woman. I told her about my condition straight away, so that she was in possession of the facts. To be honest this is the most uncomfortable part about it, having to tell someone you don't know very well that you have an incurable STI! However, it was fine and above all she appreciated my honesty. It didn't stop her wanting to have sex with me, and I reassured her that I would take full responsibility for myself and do all I could to make sure I did not pass it along to her. This has turned out to be quite simple. I asked my GP about what the deal was, and she gave me the following advice: The virus is passed through skin-to-skin contact, and can be transmitted even when there are no symptoms, as others have noted above. So, whether or not I have symptoms, we never do anything that involves the direct contact of genitals. Additional to that, I always wash my hands thoroughly before touching her if I have touched myself. She always washes her hands before touching herself if she has been touching me. She doesn't go down on me, which I guess is a bit of a drawback, but probably safest. When I have symptoms she doesn't touch me at all - it's pretty painful anyway! Because I was upfront about it from the start, the whole vibe of our sexual relationship has developed in such a way that follows those 'rules' and feels therefore totally natural. It's really not a disaster at all if you have herpes and you're having sex with someone who doesn't. Yes, you have a responsibility to protect them against it - and telling them about it so that they have the choice whether or not to proceed is crucial. But you know what, if the worst thing happens and you do pass it on, it's also not the biggest disaster either (in my opinion). It's uncomfortable when you have symptoms - though you can take anti-virals like acyclovir to reduce their severity - and it's a good excuse to practice a healthier lifestyle, which keeps your immune system as robust as it can be and reduces the frequency and severity of the outbreaks anyway. I know that doesn't cover all of the instances and questions mentioned above, but I thought I would share anyway, because when I first got it I was anxious and frightened, but the reality has turned out to be totally OK. If like me you are a woman who has sex with both men and women, the important thing is that if you don't want to pass it to a man you must ALWAYS use a condom. I got it because we had unprotected sex - my choice, and I knew the risks - but it happened when he had no symptoms. To be fair to him, he was utterly mortified, poor guy. But, sh*t happens and it really isn't the end of the world.
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I have genital herpes, which I got from my then boyfriend about a year ago. In the last six months I have been having sex with a woman. I told her about my condition straight away, so that she was in possession of the facts. To be honest this is the most uncomfortable part about it, having to tell someone you don't know very well that you have an incurable STI! However, it was fine and above all she appreciated my honesty. It didn't stop her wanting to have sex with me, and I reassured her that I would take full responsibility for myself and do all I could to make sure I did not pass it along to her. This has turned out to be quite simple. I asked my GP about what the deal was, and she gave me the following advice: The virus is passed through skin-to-skin contact, and can be transmitted even when there are no symptoms, as others have noted above. So, whether or not I have symptoms, we never do anything that involves the direct contact of genitals. Additional to that, I always wash my hands thoroughly before touching her if I have touched myself. She always washes her hands before touching herself if she has been touching me. She doesn't go down on me, which I guess is a bit of a drawback, but probably safest. When I have symptoms she doesn't touch me at all - it's pretty painful anyway! Because I was upfront about it from the start, the whole vibe of our sexual relationship has developed in such a way that follows those 'rules' and feels therefore totally natural. It's really not a disaster at all if you have herpes and you're having sex with someone who doesn't. Yes, you have a responsibility to protect them against it - and telling them about it so that they have the choice whether or not to proceed is crucial. But you know what, if the worst thing happens and you do pass it on, it's also not the biggest disaster either (in my opinion). It's uncomfortable when you have symptoms - though you can take anti-virals like acyclovir to reduce their severity - and it's a good excuse to practice a healthier lifestyle, which keeps your immune system as robust as it can be and reduces the frequency and severity of the outbreaks anyway. I know that doesn't cover all of the instances and questions mentioned above, but I thought I would share anyway, because when I first got it I was anxious and frightened, but the reality has turned out to be totally OK. If like me you are a woman who has sex with both men and women, the important thing is that if you don't want to pass it to a man you must ALWAYS use a condom. I got it because we had unprotected sex - my choice, and I knew the risks - but it happened when he had no symptoms. To be fair to him, he was utterly mortified, poor guy. But, sh*t happens and it really isn't the end of the world.
December 19, 2012 - 2:22amThis Comment
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