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I can really relate to the post above.My husband has been diagnosed with ocpd this year and is in so many ways a fantasic person and wonderful father, everyone likes him as he can be a lot of fun and has a good heart. He doesn't have much of a social life as is not willing to make different friends as the ones he normally hangs out with are moving away or tied up with their own problems. The problems between us arise when we both forget that the condition traps him in difficult situations and whatever solutions there might be to ease his stress or discomfort he refuses to entertain them, especially if its me offering them! It is infuriating to constantly go around in circles while to complains about the same things day in and out but won't make a single change in his life. Worse is that he some times tells me he was happy with a situation until a few weeks before , when I know he's been complaining about it daily for much longer.
I love him dearly and really appreciate so many things about him, but I am finding the black moods, lack of flexibility and his inability recognise anyone elses point of view very tough to deal with and we are having terrible arguments. I know I don't handle things as sensitively as I could and trying to 'win' an argument is pointless, but I'm not sure how we can get things back on track. Even with a diagnosis ,when a condition tells a person they are the only sane person doing things correctly, there is not much a partner can do to convince them otherwise. My husband has just informed me after our row today that he has stopped smoking and is resigning from his job as these were things were causing me concern about his health and stress levels. Every reaction is extreme and when I said that I totally support him to do both of those things if he wants to and think we need to be realistic about how hard these things will be and perhaps look at why he smokes so he can use patches so doesn't replace it with something else that will hurt his health (he already drinks beer on his way home most nights because he is stressed) and make sure he's got all the support he needs around him he says I am being negative. I'm worried he is setting himself up to fail with the smoking and don't think I can cope if it makes him even more miserable because he won't use patches or get an NHS help pack. Sorry to ramble on but I don't feel I can tell anyone about this. I am hoping he will engage in some therapy and will carefully and tactfully suggest that...wish me luck. I have always been an happy, easy going person , who lately feels like a terrible, nagging, critical harridan of a wife. Reading it back I think I sound reasonable. I don't know. I am beginning to lose confidence and like myself less because of this.
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I
July 26, 2013 - 9:02amI can really relate to the post above.My husband has been diagnosed with ocpd this year and is in so many ways a fantasic person and wonderful father, everyone likes him as he can be a lot of fun and has a good heart. He doesn't have much of a social life as is not willing to make different friends as the ones he normally hangs out with are moving away or tied up with their own problems. The problems between us arise when we both forget that the condition traps him in difficult situations and whatever solutions there might be to ease his stress or discomfort he refuses to entertain them, especially if its me offering them! It is infuriating to constantly go around in circles while to complains about the same things day in and out but won't make a single change in his life. Worse is that he some times tells me he was happy with a situation until a few weeks before , when I know he's been complaining about it daily for much longer.
I love him dearly and really appreciate so many things about him, but I am finding the black moods, lack of flexibility and his inability recognise anyone elses point of view very tough to deal with and we are having terrible arguments. I know I don't handle things as sensitively as I could and trying to 'win' an argument is pointless, but I'm not sure how we can get things back on track. Even with a diagnosis ,when a condition tells a person they are the only sane person doing things correctly, there is not much a partner can do to convince them otherwise. My husband has just informed me after our row today that he has stopped smoking and is resigning from his job as these were things were causing me concern about his health and stress levels. Every reaction is extreme and when I said that I totally support him to do both of those things if he wants to and think we need to be realistic about how hard these things will be and perhaps look at why he smokes so he can use patches so doesn't replace it with something else that will hurt his health (he already drinks beer on his way home most nights because he is stressed) and make sure he's got all the support he needs around him he says I am being negative. I'm worried he is setting himself up to fail with the smoking and don't think I can cope if it makes him even more miserable because he won't use patches or get an NHS help pack. Sorry to ramble on but I don't feel I can tell anyone about this. I am hoping he will engage in some therapy and will carefully and tactfully suggest that...wish me luck. I have always been an happy, easy going person , who lately feels like a terrible, nagging, critical harridan of a wife. Reading it back I think I sound reasonable. I don't know. I am beginning to lose confidence and like myself less because of this.
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