I once went to visit a friend who was a dog trainer out at her 10-acre farm. I took one of our collies with me. Paige (the collie) was a relative newcomer to our home and was clearly nervous after the car ride, meeting this new person and being in the middle of an unfamiliar place with its unfamiliar sounds and smells.
My friend encouraged me to let Paige off leash and see what she did. I worried that she'd run for the car, but she didn't. She put her nose down to the ground and started sniffing. And then she kept sniffing, in ever-increasing circles, until she had established her footing in this new area. After that, she was visibly less stressed and even ended up enjoying the visit.
My trainer friend called it Paige's "calming behavior." That by "grounding herself" and sniffing in circles until she felt she knew where she was, she could then step out and meet a new challenge. Later on that day and week (I'm getting to my point, too!) I realized that I also have lots of "calming behaviors." For instance, when overwhelmed at work, I will sometimes stop all work and simply clean my desk, putting things in piles and organizing them. It may look like actual work, but in reality it's a way to tell myself I still have control. It grounds me and gives me a sense of where things are, I think.
Thanks, as always, for such an interesting read.
Routines are the same. They ground us and let us know where we are.
Comment Reply
Dave,
I once went to visit a friend who was a dog trainer out at her 10-acre farm. I took one of our collies with me. Paige (the collie) was a relative newcomer to our home and was clearly nervous after the car ride, meeting this new person and being in the middle of an unfamiliar place with its unfamiliar sounds and smells.
My friend encouraged me to let Paige off leash and see what she did. I worried that she'd run for the car, but she didn't. She put her nose down to the ground and started sniffing. And then she kept sniffing, in ever-increasing circles, until she had established her footing in this new area. After that, she was visibly less stressed and even ended up enjoying the visit.
My trainer friend called it Paige's "calming behavior." That by "grounding herself" and sniffing in circles until she felt she knew where she was, she could then step out and meet a new challenge. Later on that day and week (I'm getting to my point, too!) I realized that I also have lots of "calming behaviors." For instance, when overwhelmed at work, I will sometimes stop all work and simply clean my desk, putting things in piles and organizing them. It may look like actual work, but in reality it's a way to tell myself I still have control. It grounds me and gives me a sense of where things are, I think.
Thanks, as always, for such an interesting read.
Routines are the same. They ground us and let us know where we are.
January 6, 2010 - 9:16amThis Comment
Reply