As someone who has (a) dealt with depression and (b) moved a lot (was in one place for 18 years, then moved 6 times in 9 years), I want to echo everything Alison said. She was right on all counts.
A huge part of it -- huge -- is how this move came about and how you have felt about it. Does it bring things you are looking forward to? What is the main reason for the move?
Of all the things Alison wrote about, I want to suggest that your support system may be the most important. And support system means a lot of things. Of course the first two are family and friends, but support system also means:
-- doctors, dentists, veterinarians and other professionals (like your therapist)
-- familiarity with your surroundings
-- routines (work routines, neighborhood routines, exercise routines)
-- resources (libraries, grocery stores, pharmacies)
-- fun stuff (your favorite bookstore, coffee shop, restaurant, bike trail)
All those things change when you move. If you are moving for a good reason, and it makes you happy, then exploring and discovering a new place can be fun. But if you are not that happy about moving, losing all the familiar things can make the new place seem alien and difficult.
So I guess what I'm saying is this.
-- Do you think your depression is partially linked to where you live now? Would moving help you get out of it? or:
-- Do you think that leaving where you are now would make you more depressed?
Only you can know these things. I hope you're talking with your psychotherapist about them. It sounds like you're having some big doubts, which is normal whenever we're undertaking something big. But you have to figure out where those doubts are coming from to figure out if the move is good or bad for you.
Know this, though: A depression will TRY to paralyze you. That is its job. That's what it does. It wants you to see the negative in things and not the positive. This is why you have to be careful here. You can't trust your gut like normal, because your depression will change your gut. You have to really depend on knowing yourself inside and knowing what would be best for YOU, the person you ARE without the depression.
Comment Reply
Cyndi Lu,
As someone who has (a) dealt with depression and (b) moved a lot (was in one place for 18 years, then moved 6 times in 9 years), I want to echo everything Alison said. She was right on all counts.
A huge part of it -- huge -- is how this move came about and how you have felt about it. Does it bring things you are looking forward to? What is the main reason for the move?
Of all the things Alison wrote about, I want to suggest that your support system may be the most important. And support system means a lot of things. Of course the first two are family and friends, but support system also means:
-- doctors, dentists, veterinarians and other professionals (like your therapist)
-- familiarity with your surroundings
-- routines (work routines, neighborhood routines, exercise routines)
-- resources (libraries, grocery stores, pharmacies)
-- fun stuff (your favorite bookstore, coffee shop, restaurant, bike trail)
All those things change when you move. If you are moving for a good reason, and it makes you happy, then exploring and discovering a new place can be fun. But if you are not that happy about moving, losing all the familiar things can make the new place seem alien and difficult.
So I guess what I'm saying is this.
-- Do you think your depression is partially linked to where you live now? Would moving help you get out of it? or:
-- Do you think that leaving where you are now would make you more depressed?
Only you can know these things. I hope you're talking with your psychotherapist about them. It sounds like you're having some big doubts, which is normal whenever we're undertaking something big. But you have to figure out where those doubts are coming from to figure out if the move is good or bad for you.
Know this, though: A depression will TRY to paralyze you. That is its job. That's what it does. It wants you to see the negative in things and not the positive. This is why you have to be careful here. You can't trust your gut like normal, because your depression will change your gut. You have to really depend on knowing yourself inside and knowing what would be best for YOU, the person you ARE without the depression.
Will you come back and tell us more?
January 8, 2010 - 9:30amThis Comment
Reply