Do you ever notice a cute boy? Do you ever find yourself looking at another man and thinking, "What a nice-looking guy!" If a man smiled at you on the bus or at work, wouldn't you smile back?
There's nothing wrong with any of that. And none of it means someone is going to be unfaithful. It means they appreciate a nice-looking person!
But your boyfriend chose YOU, for reasons that mean a lot to him. But you are becoming so needy that it's going to push him away if you don't calm down and get back to being YOU. There isn't anything about being needy that is attractive or fun to be with.
Here's what you must do: You must realize that if you did break up, you would survive. You would be heartbroken, but you would survive. And you must learn to get over this fear and jealousy, because it will only hurt your relationship. It doesn't sound like you are having much fun, considering all the worry and fear and checking-up on him that you have going on.
You can control your thoughts, it just takes practice. When you feel yourself starting to think a jealous thought, stop yourself, take a breath, and move on. You COULD live without him. You don't want to, but you COULD. Your lungs would still breathe. Your heart would still beat. Your arms and legs would still work. You wouldn't be happy for a while, but even that would return in time.
And when you catch yourself in negative thought, change the thought. Say to yourself, "He's with me because he wants to be with me." Because that's the truth.
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Leanne,
Do you ever notice a cute boy? Do you ever find yourself looking at another man and thinking, "What a nice-looking guy!" If a man smiled at you on the bus or at work, wouldn't you smile back?
There's nothing wrong with any of that. And none of it means someone is going to be unfaithful. It means they appreciate a nice-looking person!
But your boyfriend chose YOU, for reasons that mean a lot to him. But you are becoming so needy that it's going to push him away if you don't calm down and get back to being YOU. There isn't anything about being needy that is attractive or fun to be with.
Here's what you must do: You must realize that if you did break up, you would survive. You would be heartbroken, but you would survive. And you must learn to get over this fear and jealousy, because it will only hurt your relationship. It doesn't sound like you are having much fun, considering all the worry and fear and checking-up on him that you have going on.
You can control your thoughts, it just takes practice. When you feel yourself starting to think a jealous thought, stop yourself, take a breath, and move on. You COULD live without him. You don't want to, but you COULD. Your lungs would still breathe. Your heart would still beat. Your arms and legs would still work. You wouldn't be happy for a while, but even that would return in time.
And when you catch yourself in negative thought, change the thought. Say to yourself, "He's with me because he wants to be with me." Because that's the truth.
February 22, 2010 - 10:59amThis Comment
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