I'm so sorry you felt pressured to have sex. That's just not right. It happens all the time in relationships between young men and women, but it's still not right. No one should be pressured to have sex before they are ready.
Do you feel that this pressure is going to continue? Does your boyfriend know that you didn't want to have sex and he pressured you into it anyway?
Let me be really clear. If you feel that you would like to continue having sex with him now, there is nothing wrong with that. But if you feel like you would like to stop having sex now, then there is nothing wrong with that, either. You can still be celibate until 21, if that is your desire. The fact that he pushed himself on you is sad, but it doesn't have to mean that you have sex constantly now if you don't want to.
Do you love this boyfriend? Do you want to have sex with him now, or would you rather not? If you told him NO, would he listen to you? If you talk with him seriously, and tell him that you are hurt that he didn't respect your wishes, what would he say?
It is not all right for him to push you farther than you are ready to go, for any reason. And if you feel that you have to have sex with him to keep him, then he's not a good boyfriend and you should think about just being true to yourself and letting him go.
If, however, you DO want to have sex with him, yes, it's perfectly fine for you to use birth control. You would need to make a doctor's appointment for a pelvic exam (have you ever had one?) and you and the doctor would talk about the various kinds of birth control pills and which one would be best for you. And yes, you could start right away, usually with the next cycle.
You can also go to Planned Parenthood if you don't have a doctor of your own. Is this something you are interested in?
Here is a page where you can find a Planned Parenthood health center near you:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/
Does this help a little?
But most of all, do you feel ready for more sex? Or would you like to stop? Please let us know. We support you either way.
Comment Reply
Rose,
I'm so sorry you felt pressured to have sex. That's just not right. It happens all the time in relationships between young men and women, but it's still not right. No one should be pressured to have sex before they are ready.
Do you feel that this pressure is going to continue? Does your boyfriend know that you didn't want to have sex and he pressured you into it anyway?
Let me be really clear. If you feel that you would like to continue having sex with him now, there is nothing wrong with that. But if you feel like you would like to stop having sex now, then there is nothing wrong with that, either. You can still be celibate until 21, if that is your desire. The fact that he pushed himself on you is sad, but it doesn't have to mean that you have sex constantly now if you don't want to.
Do you love this boyfriend? Do you want to have sex with him now, or would you rather not? If you told him NO, would he listen to you? If you talk with him seriously, and tell him that you are hurt that he didn't respect your wishes, what would he say?
It is not all right for him to push you farther than you are ready to go, for any reason. And if you feel that you have to have sex with him to keep him, then he's not a good boyfriend and you should think about just being true to yourself and letting him go.
If, however, you DO want to have sex with him, yes, it's perfectly fine for you to use birth control. You would need to make a doctor's appointment for a pelvic exam (have you ever had one?) and you and the doctor would talk about the various kinds of birth control pills and which one would be best for you. And yes, you could start right away, usually with the next cycle.
You can also go to Planned Parenthood if you don't have a doctor of your own. Is this something you are interested in?
Here is a page where you can find a Planned Parenthood health center near you:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/
Does this help a little?
But most of all, do you feel ready for more sex? Or would you like to stop? Please let us know. We support you either way.
February 25, 2010 - 10:15amThis Comment
Reply