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I think Diane gave you some great information, and I just wanted to add one more thought.

Since you brought up your feelings and concern with your boyfriend about him not being that "into" sex with you...I am disappointed by his response.

Ideally, a more caring and healthy response from him would have been more along the lines of, "I'm sorry you are feeling this way, but I really do enjoy sex with you. What am I doing that makes you feel this way?". His putting the blame back on you ("your trippin' out") does present a red flag that even if he is not cheating again, he is at the very least not communicating with you respectfully or in a caring manner...he is more interested in saving face, not taking responsibility (he may be distracted, and that is OK, but he can own up to it) and putting it all back on you to figure out your emotions.

A healthy and loving relationship would (again, ideally) include both partners working together to figure out a solution to a problem, whether it be real or imagined, a perception or reality. This is probably why you also are not exactly trusting what his response is...in just one phrase, he told you that your feelings are silly, untrue and not worthy of being discussed.

Of course, give him another chance to prove that he can openly, honestly and maturely communicate with you (we all have our bad communication days!), but please let him know that you expect him to validate your feelings and discuss them.

As Diane asked: if he is unable (or unwilling?!) to communicate and care about your feelings, is this the type of person or relationship that you want for yourself?

March 18, 2010 - 1:32pm

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