I want to applaud you for taking the high road here. Even when you would love to "ruin his life and this girl's life," you are seeing the big picture, thinking of your children and remembering him as he used to be. That's impressive.
Of course you are scared of life without him. We are all scared of that. But you know how I know you can handle it if you have to? Because you're a mom. And you're the kind of mom that puts your boys first, and makes decisions with their best interests in mind. You will surely have financial things to work out, but it's a task you don't have to do alone. Your days may actually be more peaceful, because you wouldn't be living anymore with someone who ignores you, deceives you and then fights with you about it.
I love that you remember and honor the good soul inside your husband. I hope that those values are still there, inside somewhere, and that he can reconnect. But sometimes people can't. His counseling will only work if he gives it a chance, like you say. And it doesn't surprise me that he's already trying to blame its failure on you.
How does he want YOU to change? You mentioned that in your first paragraph, and I'm interested.
Take care, Alone. And realize that sometimes, the best thing for the children is two peaceful homes instead of one that is always in chaos.
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Alone,
I want to applaud you for taking the high road here. Even when you would love to "ruin his life and this girl's life," you are seeing the big picture, thinking of your children and remembering him as he used to be. That's impressive.
Of course you are scared of life without him. We are all scared of that. But you know how I know you can handle it if you have to? Because you're a mom. And you're the kind of mom that puts your boys first, and makes decisions with their best interests in mind. You will surely have financial things to work out, but it's a task you don't have to do alone. Your days may actually be more peaceful, because you wouldn't be living anymore with someone who ignores you, deceives you and then fights with you about it.
I love that you remember and honor the good soul inside your husband. I hope that those values are still there, inside somewhere, and that he can reconnect. But sometimes people can't. His counseling will only work if he gives it a chance, like you say. And it doesn't surprise me that he's already trying to blame its failure on you.
How does he want YOU to change? You mentioned that in your first paragraph, and I'm interested.
Take care, Alone. And realize that sometimes, the best thing for the children is two peaceful homes instead of one that is always in chaos.
March 26, 2010 - 9:46amThis Comment
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