He just wants me to be less controlling mostly. He says that I have controlled every aspect of his life. That he is not allowed to spend money without my permission but I can do whatever I want. Which I hate to admit has been true. I never realized it and then one day a few months ago I realized that I had never had to account for my spending but I always made him account for every dollar. So inthat regard he is right. He has also commented that he doesn't think I will change in terms of bringing the past up and all that. I told him that I don't know if I can change that is why I am going to counseling. But only time will be able totell that. I said that he would have to show me that he could change and then maybe that would encourage me to change. He has also told me that I am a dream crusher that I don't know how to dream and have fun anymore. That everything is about reality and so serious. That even though he says he wants to buy a new car he knows we can't afford it but instead of me saying oh really what kind would you want my immediate response is you know we can't afford that. So I do see where I have let go of some that that free spririt that I used to have. But I think that is just because over the years I just felt like sometimes he was always living in a dream and not dealing with reality. And now more than ever I think that is true becuase I think reality is what he having such a hard time dealing with.
I have a counseling appt Monday so I am hoping she can give me some insight since she met with him. There is a workshop that I really want to try and get him to go to with me in Nashville, it is 3 days and very intense from what I hear. I don't think he will go but I want to try and keep the peace and then ask him. Maybe it will be an eye opener for me or him.
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He just wants me to be less controlling mostly. He says that I have controlled every aspect of his life. That he is not allowed to spend money without my permission but I can do whatever I want. Which I hate to admit has been true. I never realized it and then one day a few months ago I realized that I had never had to account for my spending but I always made him account for every dollar. So inthat regard he is right. He has also commented that he doesn't think I will change in terms of bringing the past up and all that. I told him that I don't know if I can change that is why I am going to counseling. But only time will be able totell that. I said that he would have to show me that he could change and then maybe that would encourage me to change. He has also told me that I am a dream crusher that I don't know how to dream and have fun anymore. That everything is about reality and so serious. That even though he says he wants to buy a new car he knows we can't afford it but instead of me saying oh really what kind would you want my immediate response is you know we can't afford that. So I do see where I have let go of some that that free spririt that I used to have. But I think that is just because over the years I just felt like sometimes he was always living in a dream and not dealing with reality. And now more than ever I think that is true becuase I think reality is what he having such a hard time dealing with.
I have a counseling appt Monday so I am hoping she can give me some insight since she met with him. There is a workshop that I really want to try and get him to go to with me in Nashville, it is 3 days and very intense from what I hear. I don't think he will go but I want to try and keep the peace and then ask him. Maybe it will be an eye opener for me or him.
(Note: Website link removed by EmpowHER moderator)
March 26, 2010 - 1:51pmThis Comment
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