Good to hear from you again, though I'm sorry things aren't going better.
It sounds like yes, the run-in with the woman on the phone was stressful and awkward. However, from what you write, I think it was helpful as well. You found out these things:
1. How he represents his life outside of your home: In an extremely negative, pitiful way.
2. That he is exaggerating his marriage and family difficulties to be sympathetic to other women.
3. That she, too, got tired of his issues.
4. That she apologized.
And I have to say, not to be hurtful to you, but it is the married person who breaks the vows. I know that we would hope that no one would ever have an affair with a married person. But it is not the single person who took vows, it is the married person. If your husband had been true to you and your family, 20 women could have thrown themselves at him and it wouldn't have meant a thing to him. This is his fault, OK?
Clearly, he's not going to decide here. You're going to have to decide what you want for you and your children, and then what to do about it. Because otherwise, I think that a year from now, 3 years from now, 5 years from now you will be feeling exactly the same as you are now: Sitting on a very uncomfortable fence between what you want and what happens by default.
I do hope he is still going to therapy? It sounds like that is the only thing that will help him sort things out.
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Alone,
Good to hear from you again, though I'm sorry things aren't going better.
It sounds like yes, the run-in with the woman on the phone was stressful and awkward. However, from what you write, I think it was helpful as well. You found out these things:
1. How he represents his life outside of your home: In an extremely negative, pitiful way.
2. That he is exaggerating his marriage and family difficulties to be sympathetic to other women.
3. That she, too, got tired of his issues.
4. That she apologized.
And I have to say, not to be hurtful to you, but it is the married person who breaks the vows. I know that we would hope that no one would ever have an affair with a married person. But it is not the single person who took vows, it is the married person. If your husband had been true to you and your family, 20 women could have thrown themselves at him and it wouldn't have meant a thing to him. This is his fault, OK?
Clearly, he's not going to decide here. You're going to have to decide what you want for you and your children, and then what to do about it. Because otherwise, I think that a year from now, 3 years from now, 5 years from now you will be feeling exactly the same as you are now: Sitting on a very uncomfortable fence between what you want and what happens by default.
I do hope he is still going to therapy? It sounds like that is the only thing that will help him sort things out.
April 12, 2010 - 11:34amThis Comment
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