I have to say that if I were living with my parents, that would effectively squash my libido as well!!! Even with all of the other things going on (and you do both have a lot going on), I would suspect that this is a primary cause. Having your mom and dad in the next room is just plain inhibiting, even when you are married. I would guess that he won't be more "in the mood" until the two of you can find your own place.
Breathe, and trust him when he says he loves you and is attracted to you.
How long do you think it will be, maybe, before you two can get a place of your own? Even a tiny apartment?
And are his parents physically affectionate with each other? Is the household a place where hugs and kisses are common? Or are they more hands-off? Different families are different when it comes to touching. I grew up in a family, for example, that was very huggy and kissy. We touch each other often in affection. But other homes are not so much that way. If that's so, it may take some time for the two of you to average this out.
I worry that he thinks even a hug is "lovey dovey," and that he mocks you. That is NOT something a loving husband should do. A hug can mean many things -- I love you, I'm glad you're here, thank you, or "we're in this together," among others. Hugs are common even just between friends. The fact that he is mocking you in this doesn't make me happy.
I think that the two of you need to keep the lines of communication open, and you need to make sure that you have times away from the house. Lunch on a pretty Saturday afternoon, for instance, or date night on Friday night. It doesn't have to be expensive, by any means. It can be taco night at a cheap dive, as long as the two of you go out together. Do you do much as a couple? Or is it pretty much that you are always home?
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Anon,
I have to say that if I were living with my parents, that would effectively squash my libido as well!!! Even with all of the other things going on (and you do both have a lot going on), I would suspect that this is a primary cause. Having your mom and dad in the next room is just plain inhibiting, even when you are married. I would guess that he won't be more "in the mood" until the two of you can find your own place.
Breathe, and trust him when he says he loves you and is attracted to you.
How long do you think it will be, maybe, before you two can get a place of your own? Even a tiny apartment?
And are his parents physically affectionate with each other? Is the household a place where hugs and kisses are common? Or are they more hands-off? Different families are different when it comes to touching. I grew up in a family, for example, that was very huggy and kissy. We touch each other often in affection. But other homes are not so much that way. If that's so, it may take some time for the two of you to average this out.
I worry that he thinks even a hug is "lovey dovey," and that he mocks you. That is NOT something a loving husband should do. A hug can mean many things -- I love you, I'm glad you're here, thank you, or "we're in this together," among others. Hugs are common even just between friends. The fact that he is mocking you in this doesn't make me happy.
I think that the two of you need to keep the lines of communication open, and you need to make sure that you have times away from the house. Lunch on a pretty Saturday afternoon, for instance, or date night on Friday night. It doesn't have to be expensive, by any means. It can be taco night at a cheap dive, as long as the two of you go out together. Do you do much as a couple? Or is it pretty much that you are always home?
March 29, 2010 - 10:36amThis Comment
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