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Thank you for your advice. I'll definitely go to someone who can help and I will let you know how it goes. I'm very afraid of the pain that it may cause, whenever a speculum is almost going in there it feels tight and then I get light headed. I've also fainted before when reading about sex, only once though I woke up on the ground. It seems psychological and I just want to be normal and to enjoy myself. I've kept myself alone and away from people for so long for fear they'll find out about me, and I don't want to be lonely anymore. If you have any other tips, I would be greatful, thanks!