I could not disagree more! For couples who have tried to conceive, sex does feel like a chore...AND it can be pleasurable; these two feelings mutually exist.
We have been told from an early age: if you have sex without protection, you will get pregnant!!
Then, when we WANT to be pregnant, and stop using protection... we are surprised when we are NOT pregnant!
We are surprised that trying to conceive is actually WORK, and takes timing, energy, motivation, enthusiasm and lots of mixed emotions. Couples do not feel like having sex just because a woman happens to be ovulating that day, but we have to run to the bedroom to have sex so we don't miss another opportunity and have to wait an entire month to try again! Sex, for the purpose of having a baby, can kind of be stressful! You want to emotionally enjoy and be connected to your partner, knowing you two are trying to make a baby. It is a very special time. However, after a few months of this emotional bonding, then disappointment when your period comes, you begin tracking your cycles, predicting ovulation, and calling your husband: we've got to meet at the house NOW...I'm ovulating! :-) Not exactly romantic, and sometimes we don't feel in the mood, but with a goal of making a baby, we've got to do it. Sure...sex FEELS physically good, but it kind of does feel like a "to do" and a chore at these moments. It is not a sign of anything being wrong...it is actually a sign of two people being real, having GOOD communication with each other and a MATURE relationship, to be able to be honest and admit they don't really feel like having sex at that moment, but don't want to miss the small 24-hour window of possibly being fertile.
I am not sure what your point is that if a couple doesn't have time for sex a lot...how are they going to have time for kids...but it did make me laugh...who does have time for kids! :-) (I've got two little guys, and I don't KNOW how I have time for them, myself, my husband...and everything else).
Actually, I thought I was busy with career and other obligations before kids, too, so I don't know how I had time to have sex before kids, but the old saying "work (and having sex) expands to the time you have" is so true!
Comment Reply
I could not disagree more! For couples who have tried to conceive, sex does feel like a chore...AND it can be pleasurable; these two feelings mutually exist.
We have been told from an early age: if you have sex without protection, you will get pregnant!!
Then, when we WANT to be pregnant, and stop using protection... we are surprised when we are NOT pregnant!
We are surprised that trying to conceive is actually WORK, and takes timing, energy, motivation, enthusiasm and lots of mixed emotions. Couples do not feel like having sex just because a woman happens to be ovulating that day, but we have to run to the bedroom to have sex so we don't miss another opportunity and have to wait an entire month to try again! Sex, for the purpose of having a baby, can kind of be stressful! You want to emotionally enjoy and be connected to your partner, knowing you two are trying to make a baby. It is a very special time. However, after a few months of this emotional bonding, then disappointment when your period comes, you begin tracking your cycles, predicting ovulation, and calling your husband: we've got to meet at the house NOW...I'm ovulating! :-) Not exactly romantic, and sometimes we don't feel in the mood, but with a goal of making a baby, we've got to do it. Sure...sex FEELS physically good, but it kind of does feel like a "to do" and a chore at these moments. It is not a sign of anything being wrong...it is actually a sign of two people being real, having GOOD communication with each other and a MATURE relationship, to be able to be honest and admit they don't really feel like having sex at that moment, but don't want to miss the small 24-hour window of possibly being fertile.
I am not sure what your point is that if a couple doesn't have time for sex a lot...how are they going to have time for kids...but it did make me laugh...who does have time for kids! :-) (I've got two little guys, and I don't KNOW how I have time for them, myself, my husband...and everything else).
Actually, I thought I was busy with career and other obligations before kids, too, so I don't know how I had time to have sex before kids, but the old saying "work (and having sex) expands to the time you have" is so true!
November 30, 2010 - 11:54amThis Comment
Reply